It’s a funny old world. Cockburn noticed today that Facebook and Instagram have been told to overhaul their longstanding ban on exposed female nipples, as the policy impedes the right to expression for, wait for it, trans and nonbinary people.

Isn’t it funny that more than a decade after breastfeeding mothers first held a “nurse-in” at Facebook’s headquarters to protest, Meta’s oversight board has called for an overhaul to the boob ban to satisfy the rights of people that insist they are now men. What a victory!

“Lactivists,” otherwise known as women, spent an entire decade in...

It’s a funny old world. Cockburn noticed today that Facebook and Instagram have been told to overhaul their longstanding ban on exposed female nipples, as the policy impedes the right to expression for, wait for it, trans and nonbinary people.

Isn’t it funny that more than a decade after breastfeeding mothers first held a “nurse-in” at Facebook’s headquarters to protest, Meta’s oversight board has called for an overhaul to the boob ban to satisfy the rights of people that insist they are now men. What a victory!

Lactivists,” otherwise known as women, spent an entire decade in the 2000s attempting to reverse the ban by explaining that images of breasts were not inherently sexual. This resulted in the campaign to #FreetheNipple, which went mainstream in 2013. Silly little women, didn’t they know that they needed a big, strong man to make the argument for them?

Even with the help of celebrities such as Rihanna, Miley Cyrus and the ghastly Lena Dunham, the boobs at Meta told women to get back in their place, the kitchen, and cover themselves up in the process.

Now, Meta’s board has found that “the policy is based on a binary view of gender and a distinction between male and female bodies,” which makes rules against nipple-baring “unclear” when it comes to intersex, non-binary and transgender users. It recommended that Meta “define clear, objective, rights-respecting criteria” when it comes to moderating nudity “so that all people are treated in a manner consistent with international human rights standards.”

Meta replied saying that they “welcome the board’s decision in this case,” adding that they “are constantly evolving our policies to help make our platforms safer for everyone. We know more can be done to support the LGBTQ+ community, and that means working with experts and LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations on a range of issues and product improvements.” Ha!

So to clarify: exposed female nipples are fair game on Facebook and Instagram, as long as you claim to be a trans man or nonbinary. The identical twin sister of one such woman would not be permitted to expose her nipples on Facebook or Instagram, if she considered herself to be a woman.

Cockburn initially thought all female nipples had been welcomed by Meta, but alas all the gender confusion got a bit confusing for him. No wonder the world’s going tits up.