The red wave didn’t happen, but Mother Nature is unleashing waves of torrential rain on Mar-a-Lago ahead of the wedding of Donald Trump’s daughter, Tiffany, to billionaire Michael Boulos, set for this weekend. Cockburn can’t help but marvel how Hurricane Nicole spared Ron DeSantis’s reelection on Tuesday, but is now, along with Republicans everywhere, unleashing some Old Testament-style vengeance on the Trump family.
Tiffany Trump is reportedly “flipping out” as Mar-a-Lago has been partially evacuated and staff sent home ahead of the impending storm. Much like the red wave Trump was prepared to take credit for, Page Six reports that many Trump friends “might not make it” to the party (just as they failed to make it to their own victory parties earlier this week).
Cockburn suspects that Tiffany’s doomed wedding is the least of Trump’s concerns at the moment. In fact, a subdued ceremony is likely a welcome relief to Trump, who is simultaneously raging about the poor showings of the candidates he backed, claiming “almost all of the people I endorsed WON,” blaming his wife (not quite a ringing endorsement of matrimony), and panicking over the timing of the launch of his 2024 election campaign.
It’s always seemed to Cockburn that Trump doesn’t have much time for Tiffany anyway. He told Howard Stern that his reaction to learning of Tiffany’s conception in the womb was “Oh, great.” Trump also appears to have a crush on his other daughter, Ivanka.
Cockburn hopes Hurricane Nicole’s presence at her wedding does not portend a stormy future for Tiffany, and he wishes her a lifetime of happiness. And hey, being “the other Trump” who’s often left out of her dad’s political business might be the best recipe for Tiffany’s happily ever after that Cockburn can think of.
