Even a stopped clock is right twice a day — and Vice President Kamala Harris may have finally met her moment. The immigration-czar-slash-voting-rights-activist-slash-common-sense-gun-safety-proponent is also now taking some work off transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg’s plate as he wrangles infant twins.
“This issue of transportation is fundamentally about just making sure that people have the ability to get where they need to go,” Kamala said of her new issue set Tuesday.
First up? Expanding tiny airplane bathrooms.
“The majority of domestic flights do not have accessible restrooms. This is absolutely unacceptable,” Kamala tweeted. “Our administration will soon announce a solution to help end this inequity.”
Twitter users mocked Kamala for focusing on such a minute issue amid the country’s economic concerns and the ongoing border crisis. They also pointed out that reconfiguring airplanes to make bathrooms larger will likely eliminate rows of seats, thus driving up ticket prices. Egad! But what if she’s on to something? Perhaps, like Biden’s war on junk fees, airplane bathrooms could prove to be an underestimated boutique vote-winner among undecideds heading into 2024.
Cockburn has a different take on the issue altogether: he misses the days of elite flying and thinks Kamala’s scheme for oversized bathrooms is the first step to restoring that tradition.
Cockburn will thus allow Kamala to bloat the lavatory… but only if planes also bring back smoking, bottomless cocktails for all passengers and foxy stewardesses that can be fired for being married or chubby. Sorry, Virgin Atlantic, but your gender-neutral uniform policy isn’t going to cut it!
Of course, passengers have to contribute by leaving the leggings, sweatshirts and open-toed shoes at home.
Cockburn isn’t sure if this was Kamala’s intention, but a lavish loo also provides easier opportunity for all to join the Mile-High Club. How’s that for equity?
