Ah, the French. Is there any other people Americans so love to antagonize? Recall that after France (rightly) decided to abstain from the Iraq war in 2003, we didn’t just express our discontent; we introduced the term “cheese-eating surrender monkeys” into the Kissingerian lexicon. We then canceled French fries, which are Belgian.
Call it a sibling rivalry between children of the Enlightenment; call it a clash between social democracy and rugged individualism. Whatever you call it, just don’t go canceling a submarine agreement at the last minute for the love of God. That’s what Joe Biden did last month when Australia suddenly nixed a plan to purchase subs from the French in favor of American and British vessels. And stop the presses! A conspiracy of the Anglophones was afoot! A ground-shaking sacré bleu reverberated across all of France, which later recalled its ambassador to Washington for the first time in history.
Now, at last, help is on the way. Kamala Harris, America’s most undiplomatic politician, has been dispatched to France to soothe whatever tensions might remain. And as anyone who felt their blood pressure spike during her debate with Mike Pence well knows, no one soothes tensions quite like Kamala Harris. How will her trip play out? Imagine the show Emily in Paris, except instead of constantly annoying her French counterparts with innovative American knowhow, Kamala just barges into their office, sniffs “excuse me, I’m speaking,” and then walks away.
It is to be a momentous visit. Harris will participate in observances of Veterans Day and Armistice Day. She’ll attend a dinner at the Elysée Palace. She’ll even have a one-on-one with French president Emmanuel Macron, whose “Jupiterian” ego may be about to meet its match in a woman who seems to be perpetually auditioning for an eye-roll GIF.
All of this is right and proper. France, despite its self-regard, is an invaluable ally. It’s inside the European Union, exercises sway over EU economic and trade policies that the US wishes to influence, and boasts a formidable military by European standards. It makes sense that following the sub snub flub, Washington would make amends by lavishing Paris with state visits. Because, again, there’s that mirror image. Ours are two of the most nationalistic countries in the first world, with giant egos capable of taking giant umbrage. Were the situation reversed, America would have felt slighted, too, and then no more French kissing for the better part of next year.
Yet it does seem possible that in unleashing Harris on Paris, we’re still hung up on cheap anti-French stereotypes. Consider. We think they’re rude, so we’re sending… We think their banlieues are riddled with crime, so we’re dispatching… As a politician, Harris has made a name for herself primarily by cracking up at the most gruesome moments imaginable. She’s laughed at jailed parents, cackled over the idea of a prisoner begging for water, and gotten giddy over Afghanistan going to hell. Possibly she can yet inject a little levity into the Somme, though I’m really not sure this is the route we want to take.
If Harris is going to specialize in awkwardly morbid humor, then let’s save her for the Brits, I say. Yet there’s another leg of her study-abroad semester that’s getting less attention. While in France, Harris will attend the Paris Conference on Libya. There, European officials will discuss stemming the flow of North African immigrants, a subject Harris has exhaustive experience with thanks to all her trips to the US-Mexican border.
Yet the conference is also expected to have a certain CYA ethos. The Europeans, who buffaloed Washington into helping depose Muammar Gaddafi just over a decade ago, will be looking to move past the catastrophe of that invasion. Since Gaddafi fell, Libya has been roiled by a civil war that didn’t technically end until a ceasefire was signed late last year. And even then tensions are still high. Lawlessness abounds and the economy is unstable; the country for years was home to a significant ISIS presence.
It was another regime change blunder at a time when we all should have known better. And it was also the scene of another infamous example of inappropriate laughter. Informed in 2011 that Gaddafi had been killed, then-secretary of state Hillary Clinton cracked up and clapped her hands. “We came, we saw, he died!” she hollered. For a fleeting moment, she’d pulled off the impossible, making Gaddafi look sympathetic.
In which case, it does seem strange that we’re sending Kamala to smooth all this over. Then again, maybe I’m thinking about this the wrong way. Harris, according to a recent poll, has an approval rating of 28 percent. By sending her to France, perhaps Washington is back to sabotaging its old frenemy once again.
