After his recent campaign to hurt his family, you would think Prince Harry hates the pomp, pageantry and privilege that comes with being a royal. You’d be wrong. Not only does he love it, but it’s becoming clear he’s making a concerted effort to keep it.

When asked by Anderson Cooper why he doesn’t just give up his titles, Harry replied, “What difference would that make?” Ten out of ten for trolling, Haz. As a self-confessed “addict” of tabloids, he knows the majority of the British public believes that he and his wife should be stripped...

After his recent campaign to hurt his family, you would think Prince Harry hates the pomp, pageantry and privilege that comes with being a royal. You’d be wrong. Not only does he love it, but it’s becoming clear he’s making a concerted effort to keep it.

When asked by Anderson Cooper why he doesn’t just give up his titles, Harry replied, “What difference would that make?” Ten out of ten for trolling, Haz. As a self-confessed “addict” of tabloids, he knows the majority of the British public believes that he and his wife should be stripped of their titles. But the truth is, without those titles, the Sussexes are just regular celebrities. The “duke” and “duchess” before their names allow them to maintain an element of importance. Just plain old “Harry” doesn’t sound so good.

Harry and Meghan’s obsession with titles has been well-documented. In the lead-up to her wedding, it was rumored that Meghan was “disappointed” with her incoming duchess title, as she’d longed and expected to be “Princess Meghan.”

In the years that followed, Meghan must have learned to love being a duchess, because she hasn’t let the rest of us forget it. Every letter is signed “The Duchess of Sussex.” In the infamous Oprah interview, she compared herself to The Little Mermaid, and she once told a journalist that little girls look at her and say, “Oh my God, it’s a real-life princess.” (I won’t tell you what comes to mind when I look at her.)

Their lives in their Montecito mansion tell a different story from the one they incessantly share with us. When interviewed, Meghan just so happens to have a pre-packed gift bag for a homeless person in her car’s trunkHarry loves nothing more than tending to their chickens. They are just two normies, like us. But over the years their humble masks have sometimes slipped. In a recent interview with their friend Bryony Gordon, we see that at the entrance of their home they have a personalized doormat with their royal monogram. There is something poetic about people wiping their feet on it.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but this doormat is more than just a doormat. It is a symbol of their obsession with their own notoriety. In the same way that Meghan continues to use stationery with her royal cypher, almost three years after quitting official duties, the monograms are used to show that they are more than the average celebrity.

This adds yet another contradiction to their whole argument. The “establishment” that they both detest so much, that left Meghan suicidal and Harry feeling like a spare part, in Harry’s own words, “needs to change.” He’s spoken about how he’s been “hurt” and “worried” about what kind of lives his niece and nephew, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis, will have living as the spares within the wicked, hierarchy-obsessed monarchy, while simultaneously fighting for his children to be given titles and reminding everyone who will listen that he’s a duke.

The monograms aren’t new, so God only knows how many personalized Etsy orders the pair has made since they stepped down as working royals. About a year ago, a photo was taken of Meghan’s garment bag after somebody carried her luggage from a Range Rover. It was personalized with the Sussex cypher that was designed for them after their wedding. The same logo that the Queen ordered them to stop using when she told them they can no longer brand themselves Sussex Royal. It was reported at the time of their departure that the Queen believed it was no longer tenable for the couple to keep the word “royal” in their branding. It wouldn’t be the first time they ignored her advice.

There is a real possibility that King Charles could retaliate to this calculated attack by stripping the Sussexes of their titles, but there’s also an argument to be made that this is the worst thing he could do. For starters, it would give them another reason to play victims, and more material for their memoirs. If they are stripped of their duke and duchess titles, they would be able to use the titles of Prince and Princess Henry, which we know is what Meghan has always wanted.

Maybe we should cut them some slack. After all, you can see why Harry needed to lie to Anderson Cooper. Answering his question of “Why not give back your titles?” with “We’ll have to get the whole bloody house redecorated” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.