(If this were a documentary, I would open with the track ‘Turning Japanese’ by The Vapors which, yes, I know that’s the wrong ones, but I still think it would work so please have that song in mind as you read the opening paragraph.)
Today something beautiful happened. A tortured soul was finally able to present themselves to the world as their authentic self. YouTube star, songstress and social media guru Oli London came out as Korean. Oh, and also nonbinary too, but to be honest all that gender stuff is getting a little old these days. When almost every social media influencer is either nonbinary or genderqueer, the market becomes somewhat oversaturated. Like what happened with Beyblades. I mean hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m still on the old HRT pills growing my own pair of funbags (nearly an A cup, yay!) — and once I’ve figured out how to milk myself…free chai lattes! However, despite all of this I’ve felt for some time that the trans scene has been in need of a revamp.
You can only go so far with an infinite number of genders when in reality there’s only the main two to bounce in and out of. Perhaps that’s an unpopular opinion among my Alphabet Gang chums, but let’s face it, we have to keep the momentum going on this whole trans revolution before the normies find out it’s just Emo rebadged.
Now, the transrace community isn’t a new thing in itself. Trailblazers such as Rachel Dolezal, Godfrey Elfwick and Shaun King set the precedent on this particular branch of the trans topiary long before Oli opened up about his Asianification. But until now, no one had surgically transitioned themselves into another nation.
Speaking from their recovery bed, nonbinary Oli informed his (sorry ‘they’s’), YouTube subscribers that he (oops, I mean ‘them’) had completed his (aaargh ‘their’s’) Caucasionectomy, a procedure which removed all traces of whiteness from his (look, let’s forget the nonbinary pronouns, I mean yes I respect their authentic self blah blah and all that but Jesus Christ it’s confusing) physiognomy.
Oli explained that he’d recently had a facelift and eye surgery which has given him the ‘Korean look’. Many people have accused him of racism here, but that’s utterly ridiculous because how can a Korean person be racist against themselves? Only white people can be racist. Taking inspiration from Themi Lovato and Sam Smith, in his tearful and heartfelt video blog, Oli told his subscribers that he has been trapped in the wrong body for years and he hopes that his brave step will inspire other young people to come out as Korean, or Japanese, or perhaps one of the other ones. Some people questioned whether Oli identifies as a North or South Korean, but as a nonbinary I imagine he’s a bit of both.
— Oli London (@OliLondonTV) June 26, 2021
Unkind people have accused him of doing this purely to attract attention. But how is this any different to Caitlyn Jenner or Elliot Page’s extremely low-key and dignified ‘coming outs’ which in no way coincided with their flagging careers? Trans activists famously abhor media attention directed upon themselves. We are there to fight for our rights, but we loathe the spotlight and avoid talking about our personal issues. I myself have uploaded a 17-part video series about how I despise being in the spotlight and how my fans can help by subscribing to my ‘Give Me Back My Privacy — A Jarvis Dupont Retrospective’ documentary kickstarter.
There’s no doubt Oli’s Korean transition has created a rift in the trans community, with some complaining that surgically giving himself the physical likeness of someone from a different race, as a means to alleviate the symptoms of some kind of mental disorder while insisting that a few aesthetic changes actually *makes* him that race now and he must be referred to as such at all times is both insulting to Koreans and absolutely nothing like being transgender. Which they are right. It’s nothing like being transgender because. Well. It just isn’t. I don’t even need to explain why. Because it so clearly is not like being transgender — AT ALL. No debate necessary. END OF DISCUSSION.
But me personally, well, I think there is still some wiggle room here. I believe that validating the existence of transrace people will open up the door to a world of tolerance in which people from all nations can begin to understand each other better. After all, 18 months on HRT has made me an expert on female matters. Women everywhere can benefit from the wisdom of trans women like myself — and they very much appreciate my advice on how to woman better. Imagine the same happening with race? A black person could transition to white and finally reap the financial rewards his ancestors were denied, much like Michael Jackson did. What a beautiful world that could be.
So, transracial people: I see you. You are valid. Your lives matter. Trans Koreans are Korean ✊