How to impeach a Supreme Court Justice

My SCOTUS, my choice! President Trump’s pro-life Supreme Court appointees could be causing Sen. Chuck Schumer to look at drastic measures against the Court — perhaps even impeachment.

Many policymakers said that Schumer crossed a line as he spat a threat against Justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh last week: ‘I want to tell you, Gorsuch, I want to tell you, Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind, and you will pay the price. You won’t know what hit you if you go forward with these awful decisions.’

Cockburn was initially confused, however, as he thought that Rep. Eric Swalwell already released the whirlwind during an MSNBC interview in November.

Regardless, in the spirit of lending a hand to Sen. Schumer, Cockburn did some research on impeaching Supreme Court Justices.

Step one: file Articles of Impeachment in the House of Representatives

Justice Samuel Chase was the first and only Supreme Court Justice to be impeached in American history. The House brought the charge of ‘arbitrary, oppressive, and unjust’ partisanship against Chase in 1804. 

After Justice Kavanaugh’s confirmation and Donald Trump’s impeachment, Cockburn can likewise trust the Congressional Democrats to refrain from any ‘arbitrary, oppressive, and unjust’ partisanship over this weighty matter.

Step two: earn a majority of votes in the House

Article I of the Constitution grants ‘the sole Power of Impeachment’ to the House of Representatives. As with presidential impeachment proceedings, a simple majority in the House will send the Justices’ case to the Senate. 

Cockburn recommends that Democrats refrain from raucous applause if they succeed in levying charges against the Justices. However, he believes that free golden pens to celebrate the occasion would suffice.

Step three: earn a supermajority in the Senate

With two-thirds of senators voting in favor of convicting the Justices, Schumer will achieve his goal of impeaching Gorsuch and Kavanaugh. The American people will once again see Schumer and the Democrats as the defenders of American freedom, and will gladly vote for whichever socialist old man they nominate for their presidential ticket. 

Cockburn thanks Sen. Schumer for his work to protect the rule of law and the supremacy of the Constitution in American governance. Of course, Cockburn assumes that Schumer has indeed read the Constitution at some point in his half-century of public service.