The Cardi B kongressional kandicacy

There’s a new type of politician in town, okurrrrrrrrr?

Chart-topping rapper and viral sensation Cardi B has expressed an interest in running for office.

‘I think I want to be a politician.I really love government even tho I don’t agree with Goverment,’ the Bodak Yellow rapper tweeted on Sunday.

I think I want to be a politician.I really love government even tho I don’t agree with Goverment

— iamcardib (@iamcardib) January 12, 2020

‘Like I was watching War documentaries,’ she continued. ‘No matter how many weapons a country have you need people ! How are you trying to go against a country and possibly start a war when this country lacks patriotism? I barely see people claiming they LOVE being American.’

A day later, she wrote ‘I do feel like if I go back to school and focus up I can be part of Congress.I deadass have sooo much ideas that make sense.I just need a couple of years of school and I can shake the table .’

Cockburn is sure you must have questions. So he’ll do his best to answer them.

What would Cardi’s platform B?

In the 2020 race, Cardi has thrown her lot in with Vermont senator and democratic socialist Bernie Sanders, who she also backed in 2016. The two chatted in a Detroit nail salon in July of last year in a video for the Sanders campaign. Their conversation included a discussion of police brutality, where Cardi said it made her community feel ‘worthless’ to ‘constantly see our men getting killed every day’. She also described her support for Franklin D. Roosevelt: ‘it’s just like, goddamn, I love him. He’s my favorite.’

Though perhaps Cardi, who like Bernie is a millionaire, won’t be quite as far to the left as him. She has previously complained about taxation, and raised her concerns with the senator that a lot of people would be scared off by ‘extreme socialism’.

Judging by her Sunday tweet, an anti-war foreign policy would be high on Cardi’s agenda, aligning her with Sanders and his fellow 2020 presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard.

On gun control, Cardi voiced support for background checks, writing ‘Listen , I do believe we have the right to bare arms however I do believe in order to get a gun we should get mental check ups, proper training and a older age limit to own one .If the proper age limit to drinking is 21 because these kids can’t handle their liquor how can they possibly get the responsibility to own a gun ? …..is that fair ?’

Responding to the assertion that bearing arms was a constitutional right, Cardi tweeted ‘And it can also get prohibited like the time alcohol was but guess what ? It was allow again with regulations and strict rules and now people drink responsibly 😉’

As well as being of mixed Dominican and Trinidadian heritage, Cardi is bisexual. Calm yourselves, Democratic box tickers.

And earlier today, the rapper showed a willingness to work across the aisle, writing: ‘Let me tell you something cause every time I post anything political I get attack all type of crazy .If you are a conservative & if you support a opposite party that’s OK( unless you racist)we can get into friendly debates on here voice your opinion and I’ll voice mines HOWEVER don’t try me and don’t take my kindness for weakness.I BE VIOLATING!!! I don’t really like being on that type of time.We grown ! Let’s be grown .Lets teach and learn .’

This statement came after Trump-supporting former Playmate Mindy Robinson said she’d ‘need more school’ to run for office. Cardi calmly replied: ‘Sis your lips ashy and you barely have none …Leave me alone .I didn’t insulted your party or your believes so please don’t try me and let’s keep sweet OK….don’t want to dog walk you ❤️.’

She continued: ‘You really mad cause you stay takin pics like this and mention Trump 20 times a day to get his attention.HEY! Don’t take your anger out on me cause he don’t wanna fuck you sis.’

Now that’s what Cockburn calls bipartisanship.

Where would Cardi stand for office?

Given Cardi’s comfort on the westerly reaches of the Democratic wing, it’s worth wondering whether the Democratic Socialists of America might consider her a salient option for primarying a more centrist Democrat in a safe seat. It worked for AOC.

Cardi was born in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan, in New York’s 13th district. The congressman there is Rep. Adriano Espaillat, a Democrat who was the first Dominican-American elected to Congress. Could Cardi B the second?

Espaillat, however, isn’t a likely a target for a primary campaign, given his background and his progressive voting record.

Cardi may however have more luck in New York’s 15th district, which includes the Highbridge neighborhood of the Bronx she grew up in, where she could run to replace Democratic Rep. José Serrano. The Puerto Rican incumbent isn’t standing for re-election due to the onset of Parkinson’s disease.

How would she fund her campaign?

Money! This is one area Cardi wouldn’t struggle in. According to the slightly dubious celebritynetworth.com, the rapper is currently worth $24 million. Even with FEC contribution limits, she could stump up enough cash from her husband Offset, his Migos bandmates Quavo and Takeoff, frequent collaborators like Bad Bunny, Bruno Mars and both of the City Girls. Sadly 21 Savage, as a Brit, won’t be able to chip in.

What skeletons would her opponents drag out of the closet?

It’s hard to imagine anything damaging a Cardi B kandicacy that isn’t already out in the public sphere. Of course there’s the small matter of the felony charges she faces for her supposed part in a Queens strip club brawl last August (she pleaded not guilty). Then there was her confession last year about how, when working as a stripper, she used to drug and rob men. She also freely admits she was a member of the Bloods when she was 16. But who better than an (accused) criminal to rough up the crooks in Washington?