Who’s still laughing at Trump’s hair?

At last month’s BAFTA ceremony, the British actor David Tennant attempted to make a joke about the state of Donald Trump’s hair, but it barely got a chuckle. Not surprising, perhaps, when you consider the dramatic vibe shift sweeping the western world. In a desperate attempt to stay relevant, many on the progressive left are suddenly choosing to distance themselves from the luxury beliefs they once held as sacred. But this has led to confusion, especially when it comes to comedy. For progressives, laughing at the right jokes became an indicator of moral virtue and political allegiance, so it was highly amusing to see all those nervous actors wondering which parts of the ceremony they were supposed to find funny.

It must be awfully confusing for these poor souls to suddenly be cast as yesterday’s men, women and nonbinary folks after occupying the cultural driver’s seat for so long. Tennant’s lame attempt at humor reveals just how oblivious some still are to the paradigm shift. Jokes about Trump’s hair? Really, is that all you’ve got? Weren’t you calling him Hitler before the election?

Trump’s hairstyle has been the butt of jokes ever since he started making waves back in the 1990s. In fact, it was the waviness of his hair that first caught people’s attention. That nest of spun gold perched atop his bronzed head was like nothing anyone had ever seen before. Back then, it caused intrigue rather than hilarity. It didn’t resemble a traditional, single-story comb-over — more like a complex, multi-layered, multi-directional illusion of hirsuteness.

At first glance, the hair appears to be moving in two directions at once. The confident, “nothing to see here” forward flourish suddenly loops back into a seagull’s wing-like quiff. On each side, gelled barriers contain the chaos above. Compared to some of the President’s more shoddily constructed casinos, this meticulously manicured thatch felt like a remarkable feat of engineering.

Haters have always equated the coiffed rigidity of Trump’s ’do with his alleged narcissism. But the president has never really taken his looks — or himself — all that seriously, which is surely the opposite of vanity. At a recent rally in Pennsylvania, for instance, Trump caught sight of himself on one of the giant viewing screens and started examining the intricacies of his hair. Peering incredulously beneath the seagull’s wing, he turned to the crowd and declared: “I don’t love it, but what the hell can you do? There’s nothing I can do about it, right? We’re stuck with it.” If only more of us could admit to our own innate ridiculousness.

Back in 2011, at a Comedy Central Roast, Trump asked the audience: “What’s the difference between a wet raccoon and Donald J. Trump’s hair? The wet raccoon doesn’t have seven billion fucking dollars in the bank.” Well, in truth, neither does his hair, but you get the gist. The way I see it, Trump’s boastfulness is often a form of self-deprecation.

After he was first elected president, we entered the hysterical “orange man bad” era, but rather than explaining why orange man was so bad, comedians and politicians focused almost entirely on his physical appearance. By then, everyone assumed his hair was a poorly fitted toupee and therefore worthy of ridicule—but then photos of a windswept president began to emerge. In one shot, the elegant seagull wing appears to be taking flight while remaining firmly anchored to his head. In another, his hair is neatly slicked back without a hint of a join—he actually looks rather dashing.

During a Global News interview, Trump even allowed the female anchor to cop a feel. As she tentatively tugged at the famous forelock, she seemed genuinely impressed. A delighted Trump announced: “I actually have a hairline.” For all his many flaws, that 30-second clip showed the president at his most endearing.

Perhaps we should thank David Tennant for resurrecting the lame “Trump has stupid hair” joke because it reminds us that anyone who mocks their enemy’s immutable characteristics is all out of ideas. What may have been funny 20 years ago has worn as thin as Joe Biden’s own hair. Incidentally, when I dared to mock Biden’s absurd transplant some time ago, my leftist friends accused me of wallowing in triviality.

And yes, before you ask, I am fully aware that this article attempts to use Trump’s hair for comic effect — so I guess the joke’s really on me.