Wall Street wants Kamala. So do Republicans

Texas showdown

Democratic congressman Colin Allred is mulling a run against Senator Ted Cruz, Cockburn has learned. No major Democratic candidates have announced yet, with the Castro twins, San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich and, of course, Beto O’Rourke considered to be names in the mixer. Allred, a former NFL linebacker and civil rights attorney, represents a Dallas district in the House and could steal a march on the field by jumping in early…

Hung up on Hunter

Cockburn got word from the newsroom of a popular New York tabloid this week, whose staff extensively covered the Hunter Biden laptop story. Apparently the male staff regularly and vocally referred to the Biden scion’s appendage as “massive” or “enormous” — and found themselves dismayed when their female colleagues subtly said they considered it “average-sized.”

Wall Street wants Kamala. So do Republicans

Wall Street is talking up Kamala Harris’s chances of succeeding Joe Biden, according to Lydia Moynihan’s On the Money newsletter at the New York Post. “One way or another, with an eighty-year-old president, she is the most likely to be the next Democratic president,” a source tells her. “Kamala and Wall Street had a decent relationship in 2020 so they’re picking up where they left off.”

But Republicans are salivating at the prospect of running against Kamala. “She could very well be a Dem nominee. She’s not going to be elected president. And all the Wall Street wish-casting in the world isn’t going to change that,” a GOP strategist tells Cockburn.

Blind item: Congress’s newest crazy

Which zeitgeisty GOP lawmaker is making a bizarre first impression on his DC colleagues? The new politico has been branded a “nutcase” and is “freaking members out by whispering nonsensical ramblings about secret intel” they know…

No red carpet for Zelensky

It’s the Oscars over in Tinsel Town this weekend — but there are set to be a few notable absentees. Hollywood cuckold Will Smith will not be attending, as he serves a ten-year ban for slapping Chris Rock. Joining him on the Academy’s NFI list: Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. According to Variety, “WME power agent Mike Simpson made a plea to the Academy to include the comedic actor-turned-politician but was shut down.” We’ll have to wait until next year at least for the chance to see E! ask him who he’s wearing.