Tim Ryan has big ‘divorced guy’ energy

Has Tim Ryan thrown in the towel?

The Democratic candidate for Senate in Ohio won’t know the final outcome in his bout with J.D. Vance for another week. So why, Cockburn asks, does he give off the downtrodden vibe of a man locked in a custody battle?

“I’m at my wits’ end. I don’t know what else I can say,” the congressman tweeted yesterday evening, presumably with a shotgun to his chin. “If we don’t meet our final end-of-month fundraising deadline tonight, we risk losing this race — and Ohio could fall off the map.”

Cockburn wonders how neighboring Pennsylvania, Indiana, Kentucky and West Virginia would feel about Ohio falling off the map. Extending Lake Erie southward a few hundred miles could offer some lucrative real estate opportunities.

Equally desperate is the tone of Ryan’s fundraising mailers. “You’ve got to be kidding me, friend!” one cries, featuring an image of Ryan in a crumpled blue JCrew button-up and a million-yard stare. “Apparently J.D. Vance and his team of right-wing cronies saw a 600% INCREASE in fundraising during the most recent FEC quarter. I mean we’ve seen a nice surge of grassroots support, too. But 600%?!”

Then consider how last week, Ryan attempted a foray into demonstrating his understanding of internet culture by “doing a meme”:

California, Peter Thiel, and leaving Ohio behind, oh my! All the things that JD Vance loves. pic.twitter.com/xw2Tz1rQAo

— Tim Ryan (@TimRyan) October 25, 2022

Two of the components of his “J.D. Vance starter pack” seem to be making the same joke — and is the implication of the red wine that Vance has a drinking problem? The whole effort screams, “I’m just trying to relate to my kids, I only get to see them on weekends!”

Perhaps most bleak of all, Ryan has been palling around with disgraced Lincoln Project cofounder and MSNBC favorite Steve Schmidt. You may recognize Schmidt as the star of a recent Showtime documentary detailing how the anti-Trump political action committee he founded with other disgruntled out-of-work former Republican operators became mired in allegations of self-dealing, corruption and grooming.

“For the past few days, I’ve been out on the campaign trail with my good friend @TimRyan, who is in a very tight Senate race with the fascist @JDVance1,” Schmidt tweeted this weekend. “What are you doing to support pro-democracy candidates on November 8th?”

For the past few days, I’ve been out on the campaign trail with my good friend @TimRyan, who is in a very tight Senate race with the fascist @JDVance1. What are you doing to support pro-democracy candidates on November 8th?

Donate to @TimRyan:https://t.co/5AO7HLMYsc pic.twitter.com/auhbXekiJU

— Steve Schmidt (@SteveSchmidtSES) October 30, 2022

The accompanying photograph prompted Cockburn to finally Google Ryan’s marital status: amazingly, he is not divorced.

Political candidates are supposed to want to enter into a contract with their voters. Judging by Tim Ryan’s present outlook — “down in the polls, down in general” — he’s hoping the people of Ohio will join him in a suicide pact.