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The Duke of Wellington famously suggested that the Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton. To this day, something happens in the hallowed cloisters of Britain’s most famous public school that brings out qualities in its pupils that no other educational establishment can muster. I refer, of course, to those redoubtable souls who continue to maintain friendships with Prince Harry, after everything that has happened over the past few years. Quasi-abdication, Oprah, Netflix, Spare — none of it matters in their eyes. The Duke of Sussex is, to them, a cracking example of a Top Bloke, a man admired by his peers, and long may he be defended.
Harry’s return would risk making the institution a laughing stock
This is, in my view, the only plausible explanation for the apparent willingness of these “friends” of Prince Harry to come forward to various media outlets, including the Daily Telegraph, and conveniently trashy stories and suggestions in other, less appropriate newspapers.
The current subject for discussion is whether Harry, tiring of life in Montecito as a third wheel to his wife and her jam-making business, is putting out discreet feelers to see whether he could resume a limited number of royal duties in Britain, with an eventual view to a reconciliation with his family. This has been floated before, especially in the wake of his father’s illness. But since his fleeting, low-key return to the country for his uncle Lord Fellowes’ funeral — where, true to form, he and his brother ignored one another — there have been further whispers that Harry would like a life where he can be around more and see his family, as well as pursuing good works.
Time for his friends to swoop in. Not a bit of it, these well-placed denizens of the Kings’ Road and Eaton Square are quick to say: Harry is currently enjoying a great life in California, where he has made a series of amazing new friends — not as close as us, admittedly, but still important — and is loving being a family man. This circle has assured the media that Harry has “no interest” in any kind of return to Britain, whether as a private citizen or a low-key working member of the royal family. He is focused, they say, on his various charitable and sporting initiatives, including a new project called the Parents’ Network, which is designed to support parents whose children have been abused online. Some might suggest that supporting the children is more important, but one step at a time.
Amusingly, there is now some debate in the media as to which set of Harry’s friends is more loyal. It has been suggested that those who are keen to tip off newspapers — and are therefore on speed dial for the duke’s anguished WhatsApp messages and early morning calls — are those who have been “acquired in more recent times.” This suggests that they are more easily impressed by his entreaties than those who have stuck by him for the best part of three decades.
Admittedly, some of his long-standing friends are said to have dropped him, believing that he has betrayed his family and his country with some of his more inflammatory statements. But he has the likes of Tyler Perry to confide in now, as well as other celebrity friends, so all is well. Let’s forget details such as when George Clooney attended his wedding, the actor supposedly confessed to never having met the bride or bridegroom before; Harry is a popular man, we are told, and there are many who adore him.
Unless matters change very considerably, it is unlikely that either the king or Prince William will countenance any kind of formal return for Harry into the royal family. It would be too humiliating after what has happened, and would risk making the institution a laughing stock. Likewise, his high-profile battle against the British government over his personal security issues, and his bold statement that the country is no longer safe for his wife to visit, do not suggest that he would be returning here holding out an olive branch.
Harry’s friends, a loyal and helpfully media-savvy bunch though they doubtlessly are, might be amusing themselves by making contradictory and attention-grabbing claims. But for all the media excitement that these pronouncements lead to, it is tempting to take them with a large helping of (no doubt America Riviera Orchard-sourced) salt. Unless hell freezes over, Harry is not coming back to Britain full-time. And many may breathe a deep sigh of relief at that.
This article was originally published on The Spectator’s UK website.
