Who should be the next Twitter CEO?

Another day, another headline about Elon Musk. But as the new Twitter CEO has announced plans to resign in the future — only after finding a suitable candidate to replace him — we may see a bit less of him soon.

But who would be foolish enough to replace him? Cockburn has put together a list of potential heirs.

Jared Kushner

The former senior advisor and current son-in-law to Donald Trump may not be accustomed to the tech world, but he does have the face for it.

Kushner also is a proven ally of Musk, after appearing alongside him at the Qatar World Cup final last week. He’s also in the market for a job after turning down his father-in-law’s offer to help run Trump 2024…

Joe Lonsdale

The co-founder of software giant Palantir is close with Musk and played a role in encouraging his friend to release the Twitter Files. Fox Business’s Charlie Gasparino, after reporting that Lonsdale might be under consideration, quotes him as saying, “Elon has not asked me so this was news to me” and that he has “other commitments.”

Bari Weiss

Yes, the two besties did have a big falling out after Weiss accused Elon of governing Twitter on “whims and biases” following his bans of journalists. Musk turned around and claimed Weiss was “virtue-signaling” for the “media elite.” He ended up unfollowing her — but after openly admitting that whoever takes over would have to be “foolish,” perhaps handing his favorite Substacker the reins would be the best way to make nice.

Dominic Cummings

Boris Johnson’s ex-chief advisor and the man behind Brexit is the perfect egghead for the role. He would follow in Nick Clegg’s footsteps down the “British politics to Big Tech” pipeline. Cummings is obviously a big fan of Musk and currently unemployed — unless you count his book recommendations on Substack.

Blake Masters

The Arizona Senate flop has voiced on Twitter that he “doesn’t think he’d want the Twitter job.” Then again, Cockburn doesn’t think he wants to spend the holiday period with his family, but needs must.

George Farmer

After the Kanye-Parler deal fizzled, it looks like Farmer is in the business of social-media failures. Why not add a bankruptcy-threatened Twitter to that list?

Parag Agrawal

The previous CEO of Twitter, who Musk fired upon arrival, is the only person that everybody hates more than Elon right now.

Christopher Best

Best is the CEO and founder of Substack. Judging by Musk’s handpicked reporters poring over the Twitter Files, it seems like Substack is one of the only media companies actually respects…