Meghan Markle’s online shop is a new low for Team Sussex

Earlier this week, I tried and failed to purchase a couple of items from the As Ever range that the Duchess of Sussex has been touting in her ill-fated Netflix show. I won’t lie, Spectator readers; my dedication to bringing you the latest hard-hitting investigative news was tempered by the hope that such condiments as the “limited edition wildflower honey with honeycomb” and the “shortbread cookies with flower sprinkles” would end up being perfectly edible.

Alas! Not only is the collection not yet available for sale – “Be the first to know,” the website promises, ominously – but there is no suggestion that it will be available anywhere outside the United States. My chances of chowing down on Meghan’s raspberry spread in keepsake packaging are small, and vanishingly so.

However, in my increasingly desperate attempts to shop Sussex, a new and reassuringly expensive avenue has revealed itself. Courtesy of her now densely populated Instagram account, Meghan has used the ShopMy online portal to offer “a handpicked and curated collection of the things I love.” Along with a black-and-white portrait of her smiling cheerfully, presumably in the expectation of the further riches that will be coming her way courtesy of the affiliate links offered, the Duchess says: “I hope you enjoy them!” We are being offered the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to style ourselves in her own manner; how could we not seize it?

Well, the prices might make all but the most committed follower of Meghan freeze in the act of taking out their credit card. These items are very much in the exclusive bracket, especially the Heidi Merrick-designed “Windsor gown” – someone has a sense of humor at the expense of her former in-laws, it would appear – which comes in “a subtle, raw silk noil with a drapey hand and slight textured slub.” It is yours for $1,380. Somewhat bizarrely, the item is available in a size 0, implying that its ideal wearer might just have left an especially punitive prisoner-of-war camp: “Only 1 left! Order soon,” the website urges the tiny would-be purchaser.

None of the goods on the Meghan magasin are intended to be within the reach of ordinary mortals. Instead, they are the stuff of influencer fantasies – and priced to match.

The “Etiennette Blazer in Good Wool” – a snip at $445 – boasts that it “goes from day to night in a strong, feminine silhouette featuring peak lapels, a cutaway front, and flattering nipped-in waist.” Well, there you are. I was amused by Ariel Gordon’s Royal Signature Studs ($360), “handmade with love in Los Angeles” and modeled by the Duchess in With Love, Meghan. We are informed, gushingly, that they are “a wardrobe staple for Meghan Markle in her Netflix show and beyond!” Beyond comprehension, perhaps.

If the Ray-Ban Aviator Classics and Tracy James’s “feminine and flirty A-Line midi dress” seem like conventional A-lister accoutrements by comparison, just wait for the Maya Brenner Happiness Retreat necklace. It looks like something a faded rock star would transport their drugs in and will set you back nearly $500. “A subtle wearable crystal piece to protect your peace… so every day can be your retreat.” The idea of a retreat – a very swift and decisive one – seems increasingly appealing the longer a shopper lingers at this particular online boutique.

Inevitably, the Duchess’s ardent admirers will look at the 33 items available at ShopMy and rush to buy them, budgets permitting. After all, if their heroine has offered her imprimatur of good taste, they must be worth buying. Presumably, this is merely the tip of the couture iceberg, and there will be regular further Meghan-curated collections to splurge on. For the rest of us, whose budgets might even be challenged by the raspberry spread in keepsake packaging, the opportunity to put yet more dollars in the Duchess’s impeccably designed pockets may be easy to resist.

To call this collection overpriced, cynical tat would be putting it too strongly; expensive West Coast fashion has its place in many designer boutiques and wardrobes. But it would be far more heartening if its curator abandoned any pretense that her motivations were not purely financial and began to front her own upmarket QVC show instead. It would, undoubtedly, be a lot more fun to watch than With Love, Meghan.