Meghan Markle’s ‘As Ever’ launch is not a joke

On April Fool’s Day, it is all too appropriate that the latest announcement from the Duchess of Sussex has the grim air of a not particularly funny joke. Yet in her newsletter – her newsletter – Meghan has let it be known to her adoring public, or at least the Sussex Squad, that they, too, “can mimic the magic of Montecito.”

Given that her husband is currently engaged in a reputation-slashing PR disaster with the demise of his Sentebale charity, then perhaps many would suggest that “the magic of Montecito” may be in danger of wearing off. But this does not stop the indefatigable Duchess from pushing her “As Ever” range to her people. After all, money has to be made.

The opportunity to buy Meghan’s jams and homeware has been dangled in front of us since the beginning of the year, ever since their purveyor relaunched her Instagram account, but only now has it come to pass. The actual items that are being sold will come as little surprise to seasoned Meghan watchers – she has not decided, for instance, to bring forth a range of branded sex toys, or her own organically grown marijuana. But in her newsletter, she has offered piquant details as to the origins of these products, and, summoning up the spirit of her recent Netflix show With Love Meghan, a guide as to what to do with the empty containers.

“Ever since I can remember, I’ve been dreaming up easy ways to elevate the everyday into the exceptional,” she informs us in her recent, only slightly Stalinist communiqué. “I always knew that I wanted to turn these ideas into something real, and to make beautiful items that spark connection and celebrate quiet, meaningful moments.” It is the (in)famous jam that receives most attention:

Of course, you’ll find the raspberry spread that started it all, presented in keepsake packaging that you can repurpose to tuck away love notes or special treasures, and to remember this pivotal moment with me. Think of it as our time capsule. And by the way, once you’ve enjoyed every spoonful of this fruit spread, you may want to do what I do: rinse the jar and use it as a small bud vase for flowers on your nightstand, or to hold your pens on your desk.

I don’t know about you, but if I received a love note in an empty pot of Meghan Markle’s raspberry jam, I would suspect that the person professing their undying affection was not being entirely sincere. And indeed, if I was to visit someone’s house and find their small bud vase or penholder was “As Ever” -branded, I would be making my excuses and leaving, perhaps shortly before the shortbread cookies and limited-edition wildflower honey with honeycomb were being opened.

Yet this advice, dictated as if from on high, is of a piece with everything that the Duchess has bestowed upon her public over the past couple of years: condescension masquerading as sisterly guidance. Most are unlikely to be fooled. 

Out of masochistic interest, I did some research into the number of shops that are currently stocking the “As Ever” range. At present, I have found two, both Netflix Home stores. One is lurking in a Dallas shopping center – so perhaps that city will now be able to say that the assassination of JFK is only the second worst thing to have happened there – and the other is in the unlikely named King of Prussia, an otherwise obscure town in Pennsylvania. Meghan reuniting with European royalty again to sell her wares? I’m even more convinced it’s all an April Fool than I was before.