Kamala chooses the Met Gala over the presidency

It was typical Kamala. Did she really want to be at the Met Gala or not? She couldn’t seem to make up her mind. 

So the candidate that the Democratic party thought could beat Donald Trump in the race to be US president skipped the red carpet, slipped in a backdoor of the Metropolitan Museum and posted a photo of herself in a black and white silk gown on social media

The look in her eye as she stared at the camera was pure uncertainty. Had she just stepped on another landmine, obvious to everyone else but her? 

The caption on the photo tweeted from the Democrats account may have read, “Kamala Harris stuns at the Met Gala,” but that is not how most Americans will view it.

Wearing a designer dress to an event where tickets cost $75,000 and laughing it up with the cream of the liberal celebrity and fashion elite, will not go down well in the rust belt.

As candidate Kamala was never confident in herself. The same Kamala was visible last night. Not confident enough to turn down the glittering invitation and not confident enough to embrace it wholeheartedly and strut up the red carpet.

This year’s theme was “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style.”  Black dandyism, we’re told, was a way for subjugated African Americans to challenge preconceptions and subvert the slave-master relationship. 

But the whole affair felt lifeless and dull. One wag branded the event “the Meh Ball.”

The highlight was a red stain on Anna Wintour’s dress. Was it blood? Whose? Had she stabbed someone with a high heel? Perhaps for talking about politics? 

Politics was strictly off-limits – a Wintour decree, perhaps. There were no Tax the Rich dresses. In interviews the invitees spoke only about the extravagant creations they were wearing. Not a peep about how the clothes might now be more expensive thanks to tariffs on China, even though they must have been champing at the bit to call Trump a fascist for something or other. 

So we were left with a lot of very dull, very wealthy, self-congratulatory narcissists being even more vapid and vacuous than usual. All of them completely and hopelessly out of touch with reality. 

One guest wore a piano strapped on his back. Diana Ross shut down the red carpet with an enormous 18-foot white feather-lined train. Madonna appeared to be in a bad mood because the bottom of her trousers were soaked by the rain. She only cracked a pained Botoxed smile when Stella McCartney smacked her on the bottom in front of photographers.

Designer Olivier Rousteing carried a sewing machine as a handbag and actor Damson Idris pulled up to the event in a race car wearing a Tommy Hilfiger-designed racing suit and helmet featuring 20,000 Swarovski crystals. Two assistants struggled in front of live cameras to pull  the racing gear off the actor to reveal a tailored suit underneath.

Rihanna showed up at 10 p.m., announcing her pregnancy in a pinstriped long skirt with a jacket from Marc Jacobs and a polka dot tie.

Kamala fit in perfectly with the unserious crowd. And unlike the presidential race she didn’t have to answer any questions. The unconvincing smile sufficed. She was among her own people, truly the queen of the Met Gala. 

It was proof that, whereas the presidency was a shot too far, she’d make a great governor of the state of California – the promised land for limousine liberals and former Met Gala guests.