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Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a wrap. The last leg of Meghan and Harry’s docuseries aired Thursday, where we learned about institutionalized gaslighting, how terrified Harry is of big, bad Prince William and what Beyoncé thinks about the whole saga, obviously.
The final three episodes, admittedly, were the bombshell some hoped for. Harry and Meghan’s usual approach of accusing nameless figures of terrible acts went out the window. Prince William was the villain, King Charles didn’t come off much better. Hell, they even threw in some sly digs at the late Queen. For many Brits, this is a cardinal sin.
Apparently, we’re done. All over. H tells us that finally: it’s time to move on. Except what the Sussexes fail to realize is that when seeking a new life, it helps to not constantly drone on about the old one. The pair claim to be “healed,” yet they come across like a middle-aged divorcé who constantly talks about his ex on a first date.
Harry and Meghan seem to be the only oblivious ones. The responses to the documentary are dire. Most viewers can see this for what it is: an attempt to elevate Meghan to godlike, Obama-Oprah status while avoiding any responsibility for the Sussexes’ mishaps along the way. This time the press were even blamed for Meghan’s miscarriage.
One thing is clear: Meghan is the martyr. Beyonce’s text — which had the Sussex staple of being impeccably timed — read that the singer believed Megs was “selected to break generational curses that need to be healed.”
I couldn’t loathe them more even if you paid me good solid hard cash pic.twitter.com/7pKY93rJmM
— Ben Brittain (@BenABrittain) December 15, 2022
If that wasn’t enough for you, the duchess also recounted a time that a cabin crew member knelt before her and thanked her for “sacrifice.” Well, at least this time she didn’t claim to have been told that her wedding day saw mere mortals rejoicing in the streets “the same we did when Mandela was freed from prison.”
Maybe us proles will never get it. In Harry and Meghan’s own words, they’re the only ones that can tell the whole story. They are the only ones that can bestow the “truth” upon us, even if their truth goes a bit differently to everybody else’s. As Buckingham Palace once said, recollections may vary. But it seems that the documentary has succeeded in uniting the world in acknowledging one undeniable “truth”: that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex tell fibs. The usual suspects — Piers Morgan, the British tabloids — are one thing; but now even the Atlantic has branded the pair “cringeworthy.” Air Mail describes the whole affair as a “pity party.”
While Meghan is famously incapable of retaining staff, she should try a bit harder in haranguing her PR team after this debacle. Whoever’s idea it was to say, “why don’t you complain about the grace and favor home you were gifted during a cost-of-living crisis?” absolutely deserves it. At 1,324 square foot, Nottingham Cottage is one and a half times larger than the average British home. Previous residents include Princess Diana and Prince William. Yet apparently the property was so shoddy that even Oprah claimed that “no one would ever believe” that Harry and Meghan were subjected to such a dump. Diddums!
It just so happens that the second slate of episodes was perfectly timed to overshadow the taping of Princess Catherine’s annual Christmas concert. The first trailer was released two days into the Waleses’ trip to Boston for the Earthshot awards, straight after the royal race row that saw Prince William’s godmother fired for asking a black woman where she was from. Perhaps Sussex PR isn’t all that bad.
Anyway, do you, the viewer, feel better? Watching two people speak their truth is supposed to be cathartic, remember. My sigh of relief at the closing credits was audible. All done. Until I realized that in a mere twenty five days, I’d be coerced into reading Hapless Harry’s tell-all memoir, Spare. Here we go again.
