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There are a number of joys in life that do not get enough attention. One is the sheer, unadulterated pleasure that can be gained from watching a politician speak about something they know nothing about. This season Kamala Harris is giving especially abundant material for connoisseurs. Recognizing that there is plenty she doesn’t know about, her campaign team are hoping that she can glide into office without having to say anything about what she might do once there.
On the rare occasions when she does sit down and get asked questions, she is a master in her peculiar field. For instance, if Harris is asked about how her administration would tackle inflation she will say something like: “We need to take a moment here to acknowledge what inflation is and what it means for people, and the great meaning it has in people’s lives.” Presumably at some point in her early life she got away with this dodge, and decided to employ it ever since. She would most likely do the same whatever you asked her about.
I wonder if David Lammy actually imagines he is a pivotal figure in Israel’s war on Hamas?
“Fine day, isn’t it Madam Vice President?”
“Let me be completely clear — before I comment on today’s weather — what tremendous importance the weather has in people’s lives.” And so on.
An equal pleasure can come from seeing a politician talk about something that they cannot do a darn thing about. Ever since Tony Blair government’s appalling process of devolution in Britain, the devolved governments in Scotland and Wales are absolute fly-traps for this sort of grandstanding. It is one of many reasons why, when I assume power, their horrendous buildings will be shuttered, bulldozed, and the earth salted over.
Last October, before Israeli ground operations in Gaza had fully begun, the Welsh Senedd took a vote on the war. You may ask yourself what the Welsh “parliament” has to do with any war in the Middle East. And you would be right to ask such a question. But it seems that it is a question members of the Welsh Senedd did not think to ask.
On that occasion, more than a third of the members of the Welsh Senedd called for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza. Yet here is the thing. In no world that ever has existed or ever will exist could such a vote mean anything. To the best of my knowledge, the leadership of Hamas do not take instructions from the Welsh Senedd. At no point since this war began on October 7 last year will Yahya Sinwar have asked his guards in the tunnels under Gaza whether their campaign of terror is approved of or disapproved of by members of the Welsh Senedd.
Since Israel is a democracy and ally, a little more politesse might be necessary, but as far as I’m aware the Israeli Knesset and war cabinet also do not take military advice from a bunch of bored and pretentious Welshmen. Neither Benjamin Netanyahu nor Yoav Gallant has ever been heard to publicly say: “Before we go into Rafah and try to get our hostages back, can we make sure the Welsh Senedd approves?”
These are poxy, piddling little institutions of course. Even the alleged corruption is embarrassing. As I have mentioned before, only in devolved Scotland could a political scandal emerge over the question of who had paid for the use of a camper van.
Westminster is admittedly a step up from these regional lunatic farms, but not always that much of a step. It is one reason why members of parliament are always so desperate to “take the lead” on climate change, “carbon neutral” policies and the like. You might point out that they could cover every inch of our remaining green and pleasant land with wind turbines — as the Scots have done — and still not stop China polluting. “Ah,” they will then say, “but we need to lead by example.” And again, this response is a source of almost endless joy. For the Chinese Communist Party is many things, but one thing it is not is keen to watch how the British behave and then carefully model their behavior on Britain’s.
The other thing that really gets members to feel like they are significant is, again, when they get into things like “demanding” an end to hostilities in the Middle East. Whenever it happens, I try to imagine the situation another way around. Assuming that it was Britain, and not Israel, that had lost thousands of civilians in a single day to terrorists and had hundreds more citizens taken captive, would we stop our campaign to return our British hostages because a member of the Knesset from Ofakim insisted that Britain should? The eventuality seems a remote one.
Yet there is David Lammy standing up in the House of Commons this week and declaring a partial weapons embargo on Israel in the hope that it will affect the outcome of the war. Britain does not have a thriving defense industry, so it ought to be careful about how much of this the government gets up to. But Lammy’s contention was that some components sold by Britain to Israel could be used in weapons that could in turn be used to commit war crimes. Like his friends in the ICC, Lammy has no evidence that Israel has committed war crimes, but he has decided preemptively to stop certain sales to Israel in case they could be used in such a way. Of course, all of this is just an attempt by Lammy to appease the pro-Hamas elements in his own party —members who also imagine themselves to be figures of great significance.
To date, Lammy has demonstrated no ability to either prosecute or end a war. My hope is that he never does. But in the same week that Keir Starmer has said that Britain will give Ukraine “whatever it takes” to fight Russia, Lammy has decided to give Israel less than it wants to buy to prosecute its war against Hamas. Double, even triple standards, naturally. But I wonder if Lammy actually imagines he is a pivotal figure in this conflict? Does he believe himself to be an expert on warfare in densely populated civilian areas? Or, if pressed, would he explain that war is a bad thing and that what people need to do is seek peace? I suspect so. What delusions some politicians dwell in.
This article was originally published in The Spectator’s UK magazine. Subscribe to the World edition here.
