Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron – the anatomy of a slap

Some are scandalized that Brigitte Macron was seen to slap her husband in the face as they prepared to disembark from the presidential Airbus, Cotam Unité, in Hanoi this week. Unité? Not so much. The Elysée is asking us to ignore the evidence and pretend it didn’t happen. Still others may say, someone had to.  

The slap was seen around the world or was it a shove, a roundhouse punch or just horsing around, disinformation spread by crazy people, as the President himself claims? The detail hardly matters.

Denial notwithstanding, we saw what we saw and lovey-dovey it wasn’t. So what does it tell us about the relationship between the president and his wife, his former drama teacher, who is old enough to be his mother? Cherchez la femme is a rule of thumb in examining the lives of famous men.

We should never advocate an act of violence against anyone but there are many in France who think that Macron had it coming, as his presidency sputters into its final chapters. The country is on the verge of a nervous breakdown with a chimera of a government thanks to Macron’s petulant dissolution of the National Assembly and the subsequent election of a discordant rabble.

Brigitte can be excused for being disappointed in her star pupil, who has received little but failing grades from French voters

Brigitte can be excused for being disappointed in her star pupil, who has received little but failing grades from French voters. So she administered what is called in the racing world a “reminder.”  Although corporal punishment was abolished in 2019, Brigitte is a teacher of the old school. But we must doubt that she chastised her husband for being “too full o’th’ milk of human kindness.”

She is hardly the first wife of a politician to have become exasperated. In June 2019, before Boris Johnson became UK prime minister, police were called to the London apartment he shared with Carrie Symonds (then his girlfriend, later his wife) after neighbors heard, according to the Guardian, shouting, banging and Carrie yelling, “Get off me” and “Get out of my flat.” The incident was subsequently described as a squabble.

Passive aggression short of physicality is not unprecedented.  In 2012, Valérie Trierweiler, Hollande’s partner, known for her fiery personality, tweeted support for a political opponent of Ségolène Royal, Hollande’s former partner, during a parliamentary election. This was seen as Valérie “bossing” him politically, not physically. Hollande subsequently dumped her for an actress. Melania Trump has repeatedly refused to hold her husband’s hand in public. Even Clementine Churchill admonished her husband for excessive drinking and spending, although never in public.

The romance between Brigitte and Emmanuel is thoroughly documented and by any criteria raises questions. Emmanuel met Brigitte Trogneux in 1993 or 1994 at the Jesuit high school Lycée La Providence. The exact date has been carefully obscured, because if it was 1993, Emmanuel would have been 15, and the relationship would have been illegal as well as unconventional.

My friends in Paris have defended the Macron marriage as a true partnership. But it seems an unconventional one.  

In a 2017 interview with Paris Match, Brigitte recalled their bond forming over shared literary interests, stating, “We spent hours discussing literature and theater.” Emmanuel later said in his 2016 book Révolution that he was captivated by her intelligence and charisma, not initially romantically but intellectually.

By 1994-1995, their relationship had evolved though it remained platonic, supposedly. Nevertheless Emmanuel’s parents, Jean-Michel and Françoise Macron, became concerned about the closeness and sent him to Paris in 1994 to attend the elite Lycée Henri-IV for his final school year, hoping to distance him from Brigitte.

Emmanuel maintained contact though, declaring at 17 that he would marry her one day, according to Anne Fulda’s 2017 book Emmanuel Macron: A Perfect Young Man. Brigitte, initially hesitant due to her marriage and social norms, described this period as challenging in a 2020 Elle interview, saying, “I resisted for a long time, but love is stronger than conventions.”

In 2006, Brigitte divorced André-Louis Auzière and after Emmanuel completed his education at Sciences Po and the École Nationale d’Administration, they reconnected, openly living together. They married in October 2007, Emmanuel (age 29) and Brigitte (age 54) in a civil ceremony at Le Touquet, a coastal town where the Trogneux family owned a vacation home. The wedding was small, attended by family and close friends. 

Emmanuel’s speech, later publicized, acknowledged the unconventional nature of their bond, saying, “We are not a normal couple, but we are a couple.” Their marriage is often described as one of mutual respect and intellectual partnership. Emmanuel called her his “closest advisor” in Révolution.

Emmanuel Macron meanwhile continues his world tour. He has visited or will visit at least eight countries in 2025 (Portugal, United States, India, Vietnam, Indonesia, Singapore, Madagascar and the United Kingdom). The French media takes these trips very seriously, perhaps because the elite French journalists get to go along with him. The Elysée press even has its own chef.

Voters, however, will likely be more cynical than ever.  What happened in Hanoi won’t stay in Hanoi. Ribaldry aside, the question is posed. Is Brigitte Macron’s wife, or his stern mother?