Kamala becomes presumptive nominee… over Zoom

Tonight on a series of Zoom calls, a majority of DNC delegates endorsed Kamala Harris, helping her secure the required number to become the presumptive Democratic nominee for president. 

The lesson? Destroying democracy is bad, unless it’s done over a video call. In which case, it’s totally fine.

Earlier, at the now-Harris campaign headquarters in Delaware, Kamala read from a teleprompter before making an awkward phone call to Joe Biden. I was waiting for the part in the movie when the record scratches, the frame freezes and then the narrator Harris says, “Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.” 

The fifty-nine-year-old’s haphazard road to the general election is the best scenario she could have hoped for given her shortcomings. The last time the “top-tier candidate” (as she once described herself) ran for president, she failed to earn a single delegate. If Harris’s 2020 run, which ended in 2019, taught her anything, it was that she could not win this thing the old-fashioned way. 

Say what you want about Kamala’s road to the nomination via late-night Zoom call voice vote, but it’s unique.

Now that the “Biden is a socratic thinker”-era has officially ended, the same people who privately cringed at Kamala’s word salads and lack of political savviness are desperate. And you know what they say, desperation is the Momala of invention. 

So the media and the Democrats are set to invent a new version of Harris and force it down the throats of the American people. You weren’t supposed to believe your eyes about Biden for four years. Surely the left can get you to buy their latest batch of lies for 106 days.

In Harris’s Monday speech at her campaign headquarters she bragged about her legal background and juxtaposed the areas she specialized in — including fraud and sexual abuse cases — with Trump’s own legal woes. She then talked to Joe Biden on the phone and later told the crowd she loves Joe and Jill. I’m sure the feeling is mutual. 

Tomorrow the talking heads, fresh off praising Joe Biden’s heroic decision to surrender to the Democrat hyenas, will undoubtedly be salivating over Harris slamming Trump in her remarks. “She met the moment!” a nodding propaganda mouth piece will doubtless declare.  

Harris should write Biden a thank-you note for setting the bar on the floor. Reading a teleprompter without pausing to shake hands with a ghost is now the sign of a political savant. The puff pieces, fashion magazine covers and softball questions will be fast and furious.

It’s not just the media elites that are soaking up Kamala’s sudden awesomeness. Massachusetts senator Elizabeth Warren wasted no time trying to get back in Harris’s good graces by not just endorsing her, but by laying it on thick. “She is a proven fighter,” Warren wrote in a blubbering statement posted to social media on Sunday. 

Warren was notably less enthusiastic about Harris in January 2023 when during a radio interview, she hesitated to say whether or not Biden should keep Harris as his vice president on the 2024 ticket. But times have changed. 

After all, most Democrats used to be very concerned about “saving democracy.” Now, many are on board with voters having no say and the convention being decided during a Monday night Zoom call. As long as there are no praying grandmas in the Capitol rotunda, 14 million voters being disenfranchised is a bunch of malarkey. 

The Democrats’ mess is Kamala’s gain. She would have never been able to rob people of their vote if it weren’t for signing on to this disastrous administration in the first place. Looks like Harris might get the last laugh after all.