Cockburn at the convention, days one and two

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Cockburn is currently drinking his first half-decent coffee of the Republican National Convention in the media filing center, bleary eyed after two nights of aggressive socializing. Wisconsin is supposed to be famous for its beer and cheese — but it’s overcooked burgers and watery cold brew that have been keeping your devoted correspondent functional in the sweltering Midwest heat. (If anyone has any food recommendations in Milwaukee, please, for the love of God, email them to cockburn@thespectator.com.)

His first social soirée was an impromptu Monday cocktail with Liz Truss, the former British PM who was recently de-MP’d in Labour’s landslide victory. Truss is eager to mingle and forge connections in the US and has been brushing up on her American cultural knowledge — Cockburn assisted by educating her on the meaning of “redpilled.”

Cockburn also stopped off at the luncheon the American Principles Project hosted with the Freedom Riders in honor of swimmer Riley Gaines and to protect women’s sports from trans athletes. (“It’s not a real issue!” one passerby heckled as she headed into the bar.) As well as clocking Gaines on the way in, Cockburn saw Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, Senator Roger Marshall — who stepped in to help respond to a medical emergency when a woman fell ill — and, most unexpectedly, Fox Sports’s Alexi Lalas, fresh from his virally frustrating Euro 2024 soccer punditry in Germany. Lalas, who captained the USMNT in the 1994 World Cup, endorsed Ron DeSantis in the Republican primary. At the event Gaines was awarded a custom-built motorcycle by the bikers. Touching stuff.

In other weird GOP news, apparently one lucky staffer has won thousands of dollars at the local Indian casino. NRCC executive John Hudson, a true crime buff, was meanwhile hoping to stay at the Ambassador Hotel because notable serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer killed a man in room 507.

In the arena, the most intriguing thing Cockburn witnessed was the very mixed reaction to Nikki Haley. Initially some in the crowd cheered — but they were swiftly drowned out by a multitude of boos. Her introduction was tailored to quell the dissent: “My fellow Republicans… President Trump asked me to speak to this convention in the name of unity. It was a gracious invitation and I was happy to accept. I’ll start by making one thing perfectly clear: Donald Trump has my strong endorsement, period.”

Towards the end of her remarks, some in the crowd were distracted by Sean Hannity and Vivek Ramaswamy tossing out footballs during an ad break of his Fox show. Haley nonetheless served as a discontent sponge to ready the arena for Governor Ron DeSantis, who followed immediately after and was much better received. He even won a laugh from Trump with his “Weekend at Biden’s” jab — Cockburn wonders if the governor somehow saw the cover of our magazine next month…

A spy reported back to Cockburn from Congressman Jim Banks’s Tuesday birthday party at the Double Tree where stiff drinks were flowing and attendees noshed on the buffet. Spotted were APP founder Terry Schilling, Raheem Kassam, Alex Pfeiffer, Free Beacon reporter Joe Simonson and Cockburn’s Spectator colleague Amber Duke.

In the hotel bar of Saint Kate on Tuesday evening meanwhile, Cockburn found a melée of delegates, journalists and convention speakers: Savannah Chrisley, Matt Gaetz, Moms 4 Liberty founder Tiffany Justice. Brushing shoulders with them was one of Milwaukee’s local courtesans, hoping to take advantage of the high-flying Republican clientele. Later she was joined by a petite colleague, who told Cockburn “I’m voting for Trump” within minutes of her arrival. Why? Tax policy. She was also fond of Amber Rose’s appearance on Monday night — and offered Cockburn a pull on her vape. There’s that famous Midwestern nice.