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In there like skincare
President Trump arrived back from the Far East last week with a trade deal or two and an improved relationship with China’s President Xi Jinping. But he’s not the only one benefiting from his visit. A significant chunk of the White House press corps took advantage of the trip to APEC to stock up on sought-after Korean skincare products.
“I brought back two face washes, a cream and a hundred masks,” one producer told Cockburn. “Via Google Translate, I asked the workers at a skincare store called Olive Young for some of their favorite products – they showed me this cream, they said it’s very popular in South Korea.” The ROK is “the Turkey of skincare,” she added.
“I consumed essences at a Hanbang Samgyetang restaurant that serves a traditional chicken ginseng soup in a clay pot,” a female reporter told Cockburn. “The following day I got a skin-booster treatment as a treat and walked around with swollen pin pricks on my face. No one bats an eyelid, as I had discovered when I was having dinner the night prior and a girl walked in with a newly lasered complexion and a Covid mask barely covering the damage.”
Cockburn remains as puce-colored and ruddy-faced as ever – but he volunteers to try any exotic treatment in the name of journalism. Stay tuned for his Substance-esque transformation into DC’s answer to Kris Jenner.
On our radar
WHO’S HUNGARY? The President is currently at a bilateral lunch with Prime Minister Viktor Orbán of Hungary.
PLANE FREEZE US airlines have canceled more than 700 flights after the government shutdown prompted the Federal Aviation Authority to demand cuts to the service.
TERRIBLE TOWEL Former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown has been extradited to the US from the United Arab Emirates in order to face an attempted murder charge in Miami. Brown campaigned for President Trump in Pennsylvania last year.
Subway takes
In the highest-profile legal case involving Subway, since… well… a jury acquitted Sean Dunn, a former Department of Justice paralegal, of the crime of chucking a sandwich at ICE officers this summer. In a statement to the press, Dunn thanked his lawyers, who hugged in the background, his family and strangers for their support, “whether it was emotional, or spiritual, or artistic or financial.” His acquittal marks a consequential defeat for Judge Jeanine Pirro, the US Attorney for DC.
“To the people that opened their hearts and homes to me,” said Dunn, “I am eternally grateful, and I am so happy that justice prevails in spite of everything happening. I believe that I was protecting the rights of immigrants… every life matters no matter where you came from, no matter how you got here, no matter how you identify. You have the right to live a life that is free.”
“Sean,” a reporter asked as Dunn walked away from the cameras, probably forever, “what does that have to do with throwing a sandwich, though?”
Cockburn considers that a just question.
A Buckley bash in Palm Beach
Cockburn’s life is not without its sacrifices for the cause. Your correspondent braved unpaid TSA agents scanning his luggage with a new level of discernment on a visit to Palm Beach this Wednesday. The occasion? National Review’s celebration of 100 years of William F. Buckley Jr. and the magazine’s 70th year of standing athwart history and yelling stop. Florida’s “six months and a day” tax base was back and as handsome as ever at the Breakers.
Governor Ron DeSantis was among the honored and he outlined the policy accomplishments that has made Florida the top choice in East Coast Hunger Games out-migration. (It took a while). Editor Rich Lowry made it clear to a full house that National Review is a friend of the Jews and of Israel, a drive-by comment on Tucker Carlson’s recent chat with Nick Fuentes, and Kevin Roberts’s subsequent defense of the ex-Fox host. Before that performative display, Cockburn’s generous host arranged a private tour of the Norton Museum’s new Rembrandt exhibition, with Brian T. Allen, National Review’s standout art critic. Seeing Rembrandt through Allen’s eyes opened new vistas in Cockburn’s already urbane and sensitive soul. After those TSA agents get their money, he’ll venture to New York and invite Mr. Allen out for a long lunch and stroll at the Met. If the Big Apple’s still there, of course…
Subscribe to Cockburn’s Diary on Substack to get it in your inbox on Tuesdays and Fridays.
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