The Pentagon gets Loomered

A warning to anyone who dares question the efficacy of America’s relentless war machine: Laura Loomer has joined the Pentagon press corps. Her outlet, “Loomered,” is now credentialed, after she agreed to Pete Hegseth’s restrictive reporting rules. Not that those would have stopped her, she tweeted this morning. She’s already spent a good part of this year “rooting out deceptive and disloyal bad actors from the Department of War.”

“There is no denying that my investigative reporting has had a massive impact on the landscape of personnel decisions within the Executive Branch, our intelligence agencies and the Pentagon,” Loomer wrote, humbly. She has developed a “Rolodex” of sources, though they’re probably in her phone and not in an actual Rolodex, and encourages people to report bad actors to the Loomered Tip Line.

Not since Walter Winchell has there been such an unbiased member of the Fourth Estate serving Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea.

“I look forward to covering the Pentagon and breaking more stories that impact our country and our national security,” she wrote on X.

Loomer told Cockburn this morning, “I will be spending more time in DC.” Take cover.

On our radar

TODAY’S ELECTIONS New Jersey’s gubernatorial election appears tight, while the Virginia governor’s race leans in favor of the Democratic candidate Abigail Spanberger. Virginia’s Republican attorney general candidate, incumbent Jason Miyares, is neck-and-neck with his Democratic opponent Jay Jones, whose violent texts rocked the race last month.

SAYONARA, SHUTDOWN? There is talk of a deal to end the shutdown (which is on its way to becoming the longest in history) later this week. Senate Majority Leader John Thune said he is “optimistic” about striking a bipartisan deal, which would potentially involve a vote on whether to extend Obamacare subsidies.

PARDON ME? Sam Bankman-Fried’s appeal begins today. He’s currently serving a 25-year sentence for seven counts of fraud and conspiracy following the collapse of FTX, his crypto exchange that went bankrupt in 2023. If the appeal fails, there’s always a presidential pardon…

Everyone is Zohran Mamdani now

If (when) Zohran Mamdani wins the New York City mayoral election tonight, President Trump posted, he will be “withholding federal funds” from the Big Apple, because “as a Communist, this once great City has ZERO chance of success, or even survival! It can only get worse with a Communist at the helm, and I don’t want to send, as President, good money after bad.” Never mind that the post made it sound like Trump was calling himself a communist – he still strongly endorsed Andrew Cuomo. “You must vote for him, and hope he does a fantastic job. He is capable of it, Mamdani is not!”

And Mamdani panic spread throughout the Republican party this morning, as the National Republican Senatorial Committee sent out consecutive Rapid Response press releases tying him to Georgia’s Jon Ossoff (as “Trump Derangement Syndrome Bros”), Minnesota Senate candidate Peggy Flanagan, Texas’s James Talarico, Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed, Maine Democratic Senate candidate and de-Nazi-tattooed Graham Platner and Zach Wahls in Iowa, who is “Carrying Mamdani’s torch.” It’s a veritable Legion of Doom of “radical-left” Democrats (some of whom… aren’t actually that radical). Cockburn can’t decide if Republicans are actually afraid of Mamdani and what he represents, or just see him and his Champagne TikTok socialism as a convenient fundraising opportunity. Why not both?

DC Halloween party scene report (part two)

Friday night saw Cockburn heading up to the Catholic University of America, for a discussion of horror movies between author Jordan Castro and Red Scare podcaster and director Dasha Nekrasova (there was a bar, thankfully). “Thank you for coming to part one of our lecture series about the antichrist,” Nekrasova deadpanned upon taking the stage. The pair discussed the aspects of humanity that provided the best inspiration for horror. “It’s sort of horrifying to have a body, but also other people’s bodies are totally horrifying,” said Castro. Nekrasova, meanwhile, described being unsettled by the “bodily ephemera” of communal laundry. Toward the end, Castro read from the Gospel, when Jesus exorcises Legion from a possessed man. “Come out of this man with an impure spirit,” Castro said. A baby cried outside. “Interesting,” Castro noted. Questions involved a discussion of the antichrist and whether humans could be inventing it through AI – or whether our tech oligarchs might be his embodiment. Nekrasova leaned on the idea of Satan being charming as case for the contrary. “Elon Musk isn’t the antichrist, he has zero rizz,” she said.

Sticking to theme, Cockburn then departed for a townhouse in Columbia Heights for an inferno-themed Halloween party hosted by Secret Ballot. Guests voted on the whiteboard tally for which of the Seven Deadly Sins they felt most embodied them (lust won out) – and enjoyed free beer from Right Proper Brewing. Spotted: hosts Kelly Chapman and Sarah Beth Spraggins; Diana Brown; Emma Camp; Castro; Josh Christenson; Kara and Nick Clairmont; Harry Cole; Freddie Hayward and Alice Inman; James Kirchick and Josef Palermo; Damir Marusic; Adam and April O’Neal; Nekrasova; Tonya Riley; Tom Rogan, and Vienna Scott.

Saturday night saw your correspondent at the latest “Cruel Kids” party from C.J. Pearson, this time hosted at Dupont Circle club Saint Yves. While the bar boasted New York prices (no cocktail should cost around $20 here), many attendees took advantage of the Miami-style bottle service at the various VIP booths. Early on they were also treated to a set from “I’m a Boss” rapper Rick Ross – and could pick up black and orange MAGA-style hats, bearing the slogans “Cruel Kids Halloween” and “Make America Party Again.” Spotted: Matthew Foldi; Jon Levine; Molly Marlow; Kieghan Nangle; Greg Price; Will Scharf (dressed as a ballroom construction worker); Congressman William Timmons; Jade Warwick (AKA Kristi Noem), and Catherine Rose Young.

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