No one in politics gets football

Fumble! Everyone is dropping the ball when it comes to mixing sports and politics. President Joe Biden tried to relate to former Democratic senator Martin Heinrich with a ham-fisted football reference, telling him, “I’m glad I was a flanker back. I’m glad I didn’t have you on the other side as a tight end.” 

Unfortunately, the term “flanker back” is only known to anyone under the age of eighty as a wide receiver. Plus a flanker would never be squaring off against a tight end, since they’re both offensive positions. Oh, Uncle Joe! 

Meanwhile, one of Biden’s potential 2024 opponents, Florida governor Ron DeSantis, clearly should have stuck to baseball. The DeSantis campaign’s new “game plan” ad features a laundry list of football no-nos. There are only ten defenders on the field, two of which appear to be offside, and an illegal formation on the part of the offense. Perhaps another attempt to out-Trump Trump, who is currently fighting off three indictments for his own alleged criminality. 

Clay Travis, the guy who started a sports website called Outkick the Coverage and used to commentate for Fox Sports, didn’t fare much better. His new book, American Playbook, which is meant to be a guide to beating the Democratic Party, also depicts an illegal offensive formation on the cover. Travis only has six players on the line of scrimmage, meaning the GOP’s attempts at winning back the country will immediately suffer a five-yard penalty after being flagged for too many men in the backfield. A preview of the 2024 debate stage perhaps?

Inside the Iowa State Fair drama

It wouldn’t be the Iowa State Fair without some old-fashioned heckling. Ostensible Donald Trump supporters were shouting that “Pence is a traitor” as the former vice president perused the various fried foods. 

Some Trump supporters heckle Mike Pence as he arrives to a radio interview at the State Fair. “Pence is a traitor!” one yells. Appears like they were waiting for him. pic.twitter.com/0SDwI7d9d5

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Well, a story in the New York Times this week suggests the moniker might suit some Cuomos. Describing a collective of women online who defended New York governor Andrew Cuomo from several accusations of sexual impropriety, the Times’s Nicholas Fandos writes of its close involvement with Andrew and Chris’s sister Madeline. “Four of the group’s current leaders said in interviews that even as their work appeared organic to the outside world, Ms. Cuomo… began privately exerting control. Starting just weeks after the group was formed, she steered its volunteer activists… to prop up her brother and hound his accusers ever more aggressively.” Madeline insisted to the NYT “that her brother played no role.”

Operating a shadowy influence network to shield “the boss” from allegations of being on the wrong side of the law? Don Corleone would be proud, Madeline…

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Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

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No one in politics gets football

Cockburn

https://thespectator.com/newsletter/politics-gets-football-cockburn-gossip-08-11-23/

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