Halloween at the Fright House

It’s happened again, it’s happened again…

What’s the scariest thing about America right now? Creeping authoritarianism? The looming Socialist Republic of New York? “The enemy within?” For Cockburn, who draws from a never-ending well of Dutch courage, the answer is nothing. Perhaps the White House’s Halloween reception might offer him further insight into the more macabre side of the nation.

The US Air Force Band greeted your correspondent as he walked along the Presidential Hall of Fame, past the paved “Rose Garden Club” and onto the South Lawn. They offered a soundtrack of film and TV scores – the best of Bernard Herrmann and John Williams – as well as the obligatory Bach. White House staffers and their families were at the front of a long line snaking its way up to the South Portico. Cockburn spotted Stephen Miller and family (his wife Katie dressed as a skeleton); Karoline Leavitt (whose toddler had turned into a pumpkin); James Blair; Will Scharf, and Andrew Giuliani.

As the band struck up Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” the President and First Lady entered. Trump, fresh off nearly a full day of travel back from South Korea, dutifully distributed candy to the line of trick-or-treaters for an hour. The President seemed particularly amused by a young boy with a mullet who had come dressed as a toilet, as well as by a pair of toddlers whose mother had fashioned their stroller into a McDonald’s Drive-Thru.

At this event in 2019, while handing out candy to costumed kids with trick-or-treat bags, President Trump and his First Lady each laid a chocolate bar on the head of a child dressed as a Minion from Despicable Me, as if inducting them into some hallowed order. It was Cockburn’s highlight of the first Trump administration, and he had headed to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in the hope of bearing witness to something equally reverent. He was in luck, as the 47th President of the United States carefully balanced chocolate atop the flat helmet of a young boy dressed as DJ Marshmallo, as Melania smiled on beside him. 

What a joy to witness history.

On our radar

LOGJAM The Senate will not meet today, bringing negotiations on the government shutdown to a halt. When it convenes again Monday the shutdown will have lasted 34 days – the longest pause to federal funding in American history.

HOLIDAY OF HORRORS The President flies to Mar-a-Lago today, where he will spend the Halloween weekend. Last night on Truth Social he called on Senate Republicans to abolish the filibuster.

MTG IN THE LIONESSES’ DEN Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, the MAGA firebrand from Georgia who has lately been critical of her party, is set to appear on The View on Tuesday, Whoopi Goldberg announced.

Will the real Off Leash podcast please stand up?

There’s an awful lot of good stuff in the forthcoming edition of The Spectator, out next week. Cockburn’s choice cut is Paul Wood’s profile of military contracting guru Erik Prince. It makes mention of Prince’s podcast, Off Leash. “Join the Blackwater founder and former Navy SEAL as he analyzes the most important geopolitical issues of the day,” the show’s description reads. “With unparalleled access and insight to the world of battlefield intelligence and tactics, Erik brings a unique and invaluable perspective to today’s increasingly volatile world.”

That’s not to be confused with the other Off Leash! podcast, which outranks Prince’s offering on Google search. “What happens when you take an ornery pup and a dogged bear and give them microphones? You get the Off Leash podcast!” reads the site’s description.

“Off Leash is a ‘pupcast’ hosted by, Pup Kains and Bearly Normal, where they dive into all things pertaining to consensual sexual kinks and adult fetish play. Sit back, stick their voices in your ear holes and enjoy the show as they aim to teach you the things they don’t cover in Sex Ed.” The art accompanying the podcast is… well, look if you dare.

Cockburn can’t tell which podcast is more morally dubious.

DC Halloween party scene report (part one)

Boo! Cockburn spent the rest of his week hitting up Halloween haunts. Wednesday evening took him to Reason magazine’s office for their Nintendo-themed bash. Guests enjoyed free booze and pizza from Tatiana – and could play Super Smash Bros and Mario Kart on N64. Costume-wise, there were dozens of Marios and Luigis (with one or two adopting the ill-advised “Mangione” variation); a plethora of Princess Peaches; Team Rocket, Pikachu and Charizard; at least three Links from Zelda; a couple of Toads, and other non-Nintendo outfits such as Willy Wonka, Tony and Carmelo Soprano and Steve from Blue’s Clues. 

Later that night, your correspondent stopped by Butterworth’s for Renegade DC’s Edgar Allen Poe-themed Halloween party, billed as an evening of “mystery and macabre delight.” Dave Marcus took multiple smoke breaks as others snacked on beet, sliders and beef tartare. James Kirchick came as a plague doctor but he did not win best dressed. That honor went to his husband Josef, who dressed as “Edgar Allen Hoe,” along with Wednesday Addams and Spider Melania. Host Vanessa Santos came as “ICE Barbie” Kristi Noem, complete with bulletproof vest and a pair of fake lips that spent the night trying to escape from her mouth. Spotted: Billy Binion, Jesús Rodríguez, Kara Voght, Karol Markowicz; Mary Katharine Ham and her husband Steve (as The Great British Bakeoff’s Prue Leith and Noel Fielding) and Mary Margaret Olohan.

An Epstein Island-themed Halloween party took place at a large house on Embassy Row Thursday night. Cockburn knows the host’s decorator has been giving him trouble, but the house was somehow already on theme. A Bill Clinton painting, which may or may not have belonged to Epstein, hung above the mantle. Guests drank themed cocktails including an “Epstein Island Iced Tea.” Costumes included a PFAs microplastic latte, a tariff bill and Tucker Carlson.

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