Snow-storming the Capitol on January 6

What a difference a lot of snow and a Donald Trump victory makes. January 6, 2025 is shaping up to be vastly different from January 6, 2021, thanks to weather forecasts of almost a foot of snow in the DC area and a beaten-down Democratic Party that couldn’t steal an election if it tried to.

Despite some left-wing fever dreams, Vice President Kamala Harris is poised to certify Trump’s victory as planned on Monday; the only potential hurdles will be whether Republicans can get a speaker of the House in time, and just how bad the snow fall ends up being. If it is substantial, Cockburn is happy to report, there will be a snowball fight on the grounds of the US Capitol, just like there have been in days of yore.

Per an invite obtained by Cockburn to the “snow-storming the Capitol” event, “patriots will be in control.” A review of the invite list did not immediately make it clear if former vice president Mike Pence will be in attendance — it is also not known if he would have the courage to show up even if invited.

Oh Long Johnson

Speaker Mike Johnson will know soon enough if he will be retaining his title as speaker of the House. By the time you read this, the 119th Congress will be off to the races.

Johnson is the only official candidate for the job, but his staunchest opponent, Congressman Thomas Massie, has pledged to vote for some phantom member of Congress instead of the incumbent. Johnson has been backed by Trump time after time, including in a missive on Truth Social this morning. Several figures outside Congress have also been stumping for Johnson: former Trump campaign advisors Stephen Moore and Art Laffer co-signed a letter with free-marketers such as Grover Norquist and Steve Forbes to back “MAGA Mike.” 

While Trump’s support hasn’t been enough for Massie, who said that “you could pull all my finger nails out, you could shove bamboo up in them,” and he would still oppose Johnson, it has been for other former foes of the speaker. Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, who almost ousted Johnson last year, has been mollified. She posted a video extending an olive branch to Johnson last night. Slowly but surely, Johnson has convinced most of his congressional skeptics to back him — unfortunately for him, Massie needs only a handful of others to remain resolute in their opposition to Johnson for their bid to be successful.

The obvious problem remains that with the narrowest House majority in recent history, there is unlikely to be any other possible Republican who can get the votes needed — and Johnson’s allies have reminded House Republicans that if there’s no speaker by January 6, Donald Trump’s victory can’t be certified. That would make for another historic January 6, which the GOP probably wants to avoid at all costs.

2025 vision

In the Halloween nightmare for Democrats that just isn’t going away, Project 2025 may be here to stay.

For weeks, Cockburn has acknowledged that maybe Democrats were onto something with their never-ending campaign against the unpopular jobs bank, that was repeatedly disavowed by the Trump campaign at the highest levels. But it turns out that what Trump’s transition chair had deemed “radioactive” may just be “active” instead.

Congressman Mark Pocan, one of the Democratic Party’s top online trolls, posted a meme of a surprised Pikachu reacting to a NOTUS report that “the Trump transition team has started using the job bank created by Project 2025, according to a source close to the transition — a reversal from the campaign.”

Project 2025 hires are already filling top jobs in the second Trump term, perhaps Russ Vought most notably. Vought, a top architect of the project, is Trump’s pick to be director of the Office of Management and Budget. 

It’s not all smooth sailing for Project 2025, however. One Republican who’s been involved with staffing Trump’s team before and after the election quipped to Cockburn, “lol duh there’s a ton of 2025 people in the admin. The embarrassing thing is 2025 leaking this to make themselves seem important.”

Balls to the wall

Cockburn hopes you had a fulfilling and sober festive period. But now it’s back to business: there’s a new president to inaugurate on January 20 — and a plethora of events to celebrate him and his administration. Cockburn’s commitment to bounce from ball to ball remains steadfast: he hasn’t had a dry January since his final year of prep school. He will sip your cocktails, offer a “who’s-who” of your guests and ask the uncomfortable questions about H-1Bs when both Steve Bannon and David Sacks are within earshot. So be sure to send your ball, gala, shindig and box social invites to cockburn@thespectator.com…

Sign up here to get Cockburn’s gossip column in your inbox on Fridays — before everyone else…