Commander Biden should have been raised right

Another day, another Biden family member making an embarrassing faux pas. This time, it’s Commander Biden, the less-than-faithful German Shepherd that roams the White House halls looking for flesh. Recent reports tell of the hound attacking multiple people indiscriminately, making no distinction between Secret Service and civilian White House staff. The MailOnline even snapped the feral beast as he nipped White House gardener Dale Haney.

Some might look to lay blame on Commander, but Cockburn wants to you stop and take stock of the situation. As many of Cockburn’s colleagues have reminded, there are no bad dogs. There are only bad dog owners. And Commander follows in the footsteps of the previous Biden Alsatian, Major, who was also rehomed after biting staff.

To see how Commander may have turned out the way he has, it may be useful to look at another rascally scion of the Biden family — Hunter Biden.

The president’s son entered a not guilty plea to felony gun charges in court this week, after the sweetheart deal his lawyers attempted to construct with the US Attorney’s Office collapsed. It’s emblematic of a life absent of accountability: yes, Hunter was kicked out of the Navy for his drug use, but since then he’s apparently been free to score class A drugs, Slavic sex workers and suspect overseas business deals to his heart’s content — without fear of rebuke or reprimand.

We’re often told that Joe just loves his son, that’s why he is the way he is. Could that be the source of Commander’s dastardly deeds, just too much love? We of course know that love in the Biden family can take many different forms — sometimes it means a lack of punishment; other times it means a blind eye to trading off the Biden name; and sometimes it means sleeping with your widowed sister-in-law mere months after your brother died of brain cancer. We wish, both for the sake of the Secret Service and any other family members in Hunter’s eyesight, that love for Joe had meant a rolled up newspaper on occasion.

You must thinking at this point, will no Biden ever be held accountable for their actions? Cockburn himself has had the same thought. Are even their dogs above the law?

But alas, it does look like some Biden family members are held to account, as Commander has this week been removed from the White House. Cockburn wonders, when will the next dastardly Biden dog get his comeuppance?