Lady Gaga’s dad takes on NYC’s ‘Bad Romance’ with migrants

Lady Gaga’s dad is giving New York City a Million Reasons to tackle the 90,000 migrants and asylum-seekers who have descended on the city since last spring.

Sixty-six-year-old Joe Germanotta is fed up with “all the mayhem” some 500 illegal migrants staying at the Stratford Arms Hotel are inflicting on his Upper East Side neighborhood, he told the New York Post

“If it was like this when my girls were growing up, I wouldn’t be living in New York,” Germanotta said. According to the Post, he’s also “compiling a list of local residents’ concerns to take to lawmakers, the NYPD and the homeless services in protest.”

Germanotta said the influx of migrants was carried out as a rapid “stealth operation” because “they didn’t want anybody to know what was going on.”

Now, according to Germanotta, the new residents are behaving like Little Monsters. There’s loud music, motorcycle races up and down the streets, trash and hypodermic needles strewn about, and “hookers are coming and going. In the mornings, you see prostitutes coming out of the building.”

Gaga’s dada wants to meet with New York City mayor Eric Adams’s office, whose handling of the crisis Germanotta labeled “a joke.”

Though his superstar daughter might prefer to tell the migrants, “Pack your bags and we can chase the sunset,” Mr. Gaga has an inventive solution of his own: send the migrants to sea.

“Why doesn’t [Adams] get one of the cruise ships?” he said. “The cruise ships hold more people, and it’s a more controlled environment. The city is spending a tremendous amount of money that could be spent towards building affordable housing.”

Readers may recall that boats were suggested as a fix during New York’s last major emergency: the Covid pandemic, when the USNS Comfort was sent to the city to serve as a floating hospital. Readers may also recall that, under the governorship of Andrew Cuomo, the ship only treated 182 patients. Still, a cruise liner is a much cheerier prospect — provided it doesn’t drift in the sha-ha, sha-ha-llow / In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-llow…