Lori Lightfoot: footloose and fancy-free as Chicago crime soars

Cockburn found himself grimacing over his Monday morning mimosa as he watched a viral video of Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot “dancing” in the snow-strewn streets of the crime-ridden city she is supposed to govern.

Lightfoot is under fire for her behavior at a Lunar New Year parade, as her lighthearted attitude contrasts sharply with the recent release of somber Chicago Police Department data showing crime reports have surged 59 percent this month compared to last January.

Of course Cockburn is not surprised that Lightfoot would be so nonchalant in such a moment. Her city’s crime problem is, after all, nothing new. According to the Washington Examiner, “the city has experienced an overall 33 percent increase in crime since 2019, the year Lightfoot was sworn in as mayor.”

Why would Lightfoot suddenly start caring about the crime problem now, when she’s focused on seeking re-election next month? Best just to appear calm and confident and fake it ’til you make it. “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the [snow].”

Still, Cockburn can’t imagine why Lightfoot’s campaign team thought this video, of all things, would sway voters. Videos of politicians dancing never, Cockburn repeats, never yield anything but intense mockery.

Has anyone ever watched a politician dance and thought, “Wow, that person is so much cooler in my eyes and more worthy of my respect and vote?” Whether it’s George W. Bush, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, AOC, Terry McAuliffe, Gretchen Whitmer or any other politician, their dancing videos inevitably go viral — and not in a good way. The Guardian has compiled a helpful warning video for aspiring politicians titled, “Oh dear! A brief history of politicians who tried to dance.”

Cockburn is more than happy to trip the light fantastic when the occasion calls for it. But Lightfoot’s “dance” consists of a heavy-footed mayor standing mostly in place while she sways and bops from side-to-side (it’s likely she didn’t want to drift too far from the drum circle for fear of encountering one of the city’s stray bullets). She pumps her fists and shouts what Cockburn interprets to be a command to “VOTE!,” though no one can hear her over the percussionists.

Early voting has begun already in Chicago, and in-person voting will be held February 28. Nine candidates have thrown their hats in the mayoral ring. Cockburn thinks that’s a lot to choose from: perhaps a dance-off among candidates could help narrow things down for folks?

It’s time to vote! Thanks to the Kaotic Drumline for kicking off the party this morning.

One month until Election Day, Chicago! Let’s do this thing. pic.twitter.com/7qZdgSjviS

— Lori Lightfoot (@LoriLightfoot) January 28, 2023