So Chris Cuomo tried to become a firefighter

While Cockburn has heard of people changing their careers after a setback, surely no one has a worse self-branding problem than CNN journalist-turned-free agent Chris Cuomo. Cuomo has fallen so far that earlier this year he attempted to become a firefighter for the East Hampton Fire Department — and it didn’t work out.

The Daily Beast has the scoop: “Cuomo, who shares a home with his wife Christina Cuomo in extremely prestigious Southampton, seemed ‘eager’ to become a member of the all-volunteer squad, according to our sources, but balked at the time commitment.”

What did Cuomo really have to do in his spare time? Other than his lawsuit against CNN, of course, which fired him after he colluded with his governor brother to fight off sexual harassment allegations. It was Cuomo himself who rescinded his firefighter application. The life of an ex-journalist was apparently too hectic and fast-paced for a career in unpaid public service.

Cockburn was surprised that Cuomo even thought of firefighting in the first place. Not only is it a virtuous line of work, it was a chance to gain new experience, one that might have improved his image after that scandal with his brother, along with a few other things.

Cockburn can only imagine what Cuomo thought volunteer firefighting was like. Would he only have been there a few hours out of the week, taking the assignments that got him in the paper? His Instagram feed would have been all selfies with cats in trees and houses burning down behind him. You know, rather than pictures of himself shirtless and smoking blunts.

Instead, Cuomo launched a line of merchandise and teased a mysterious upcoming project. Compared to volunteer firefighting, Cockburn thinks this desperate cry for relevancy just doesn’t measure up.