Sex, lies and Madison Cawthorn

Madison Cawthorn is paying the price for trying to seem cool on a podcast.

The North Carolina congressman carried himself with the air of a high school kid with a “girlfriend” who “goes to a different school” as he spilled the beans on how similar Capitol Hill was to the depiction in House of Cards. Cawthorn described being invited to orgies by older members of Congress and seeing politicos taking cocaine.

“I look at all these people, a lot of whom I’ve you know looked up to through my life… then all of a sudden you get invited to- ‘well hey we’re gonna have a sexual get-together at one of our homes, you should come!’… and you’re like ‘w-what did you just ask me to come to?’ And then you realize they’re asking you to come to an orgy,” Cawthorn gushed to the host of the Warrior Poet Society podcast.

“There’s some of the people that are leading on the movement to try and remove addiction in our country — and you watch them do a key bump of cocaine in front of you.”

Madison Cawthorn affirms Washington DC is like the movie House of Cards and said people that he’s looked up his whole life who are now in their 60’s or 70’s have invited him to an orgy at their home and others have done cocaine in front of him. pic.twitter.com/iJnWMJ9PIR

— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) March 27, 2022

Cockburn’s narcotic-induced bacchanal days are long behind him — but he’s pleased to hear that some of DC’s crustiest still praise the old gods.

He was also amused that some of Washington’s sharpest intellectual minds, such as the Week’s Damon Linker, had never heard the expression “key bump” before.

Not a Republican pearl has gone unclutched in the days since Cawthorn’s revelations.

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy — who is an absolute saint by the way — served as a sounding board for the horror of Cawthorn’s fellow House Republicans, who were “upset” by the congressman’s remarks.

Cockburn is surprised that the honorable men and women of Congress don’t believe that their colleagues might be prone to deviancy. Where were they when the representative from Florida’s First District, one Matthew Gaetz, was subject to federal investigation for sex trafficking? The claims about Gaetz’s behavior involve sex workers and MDMA — but a key bump is shocking?

And wait until they hear tell of House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who a judge described as a “serial child molester” when sentencing him to fifteen months in prison for molesting at least four boys.

McCarthy has sought to bring a hasty end to the imbroglio. The House minority leader said today that he’d spoken to Cawthorn and asked him for specifics regarding his allegations. Regarding the cocaine story, McCarthy said Cawthorn “thinks he saw maybe a staffer in a parking garage maybe 100 yards away.” Oh, well that explains everything!