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C’mon man! That was Joe Biden’s message to the country on the Friday before his holiday weekend. Joe Biden is just a dude. He’s the dude for this time and place. He just wants to get home, crack a cold one, spend some time with his cars, his dog (RIP Champ) and his grill. Why is this so hard to understand, America?
Today the last of the US forces stationed at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan were making their final departure, as the Biden administration began the handover to a fragile alliance. But who really needs to answer questions from the press on that kind of monumental foreign policy decision when there is a giant cooler of 16-cent hotdogs waiting in the yard in Delaware?
You could almost see the outlines of Biden’s board shorts under his pressed slacks on this, the first Friday he hasn’t left Washington in…well, he can’t remember. The President was so ready for his Fourth of July party to start that he snapped at fearless reporters, who dared use the holiday occasion to question the commander-in-chief about Bagram. ‘I want to talk about happy things, man,’ he clapped back. Happy things like our racist anthem, our racist flag and our very problematic gatherings over this weekend, according to the new Uncle Sam himself, Anthony Fauci?
No, Biden’s Fourth of July is about revving those damn monster truck engines, throwing your grandkids into the pool and forgetting about them, blowing your adult son’s allowance at the strip club.
‘I’m concerned that you guys are asking me questions that I’ll answer next week. It’s the holiday weekend. I’m going to celebrate it,’ Biden said. As you should, Mr President. Gas for $4 a gallon? Record inflation, rising crime and a tenuous withdrawal from a 20-year war? That can all wait — and the little babies in the media daring to ask a hard question of Ol’ Joe once every six months had better understand that.
The presidenting can take a back seat until Tuesday. The ice cream cannot. When Joe wants fireworks and an extra hour to sleep in, that’s what Joe is going to get, according to Co-President Dr Jill Biden.
America, you are put on notice, leave the malarkey and the questions about our Armed Forces on your way out the door. The President won’t be able to hear them over the roar of the Trans-Am. This is Joe’s weekend, man — and America better get that straight.
