Oh God: ‘lesbian-feminism’ is a religion now

The Pussy Church of Modern Witchcraft (PCMW) in Maryland has just been afforded Tax Exempt Status by the IRS, which recognised it as a legitimate place of worship, or rather a ‘place of lesbian faith’. Serving a lesbian-feminist congregation, the PCMW is described on its website as, ‘a congregation of female-born, lesbian-led Women devoted to the liberation of Women and Girls from the oppression we face based on our sex.’Lesbian feminists, such as myself, are not usually known to attend a place of worship, unless you include the wine bar or a protest outside a strip club. But there are those that believe in some kind of God, or rather, in the case of the PCMW congregants, Goddess, so what’s the harm? I read the ‘articles of incorporation’ to see if I would be eligible to serve as a trustee. As a rabid secularist, it is rare that I would enter any such building, unless of course it really does have nothing to do with religion at all. The three main requirements appear to be: ‘being female at birth’ (tick), a testimony to an experience of the ‘new birth’ in lesbian feminism (huh?), and ‘evidence of a consistent lesbian life’ (there was that boy I kissed when I was at school, but otherwise…)I moved to the application form to join, and came upon the question, ‘Do you accept the tenets of our faith as set forth in Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde, The Lesbian Heresy by Sheila Jeffreys, and Gyn/Ecology by Mary Daly?’ A refreshing change from the old Testament, the Qur’an, or the Talmud I suppose, but really? Would a couple of Martina Cole crime novels, which I am much more likely to be reading than heavy feminist theory, not do? And how else are we going to be tested as authentic lesbians, other than ticking a box saying that we have been ‘consistent’? Posters of Martina Navratilova on our bedroom walls? Receipts from DIY stores, along with photographs of ourselves wearing a tool belt?Then there is the issue about what counts for ‘religion’. I have a set of beliefs, that a number of other women around the world share, known as ‘feminism’. I practice it daily, believe in and practice its aims and objectives, such as fighting for the liberation of women, and annoying men for the sake of it. But how will we be tested by the high priestess? We have to go to confession? I can see it now, me in the confession box, hearing the voice of the female leader, asking me if I have anything to repent. ‘Yes, I watched Godfather 2 yet again, and then topped off the evening listening to some Snoop Dogg, before finally getting into bed with a Norman Mailer novel.’ Although I probably won’t be invited, especially after writing this, to join the church, I don’t think it’s my cup of tea. I’d rather not see my lesbianism or feminism as a religion, bearing in mind that organised religion is an antithesis to progressive thought and action. I know too many lesbians who have run away from the church only to join another, however crackpot it may appear. I’ll stick to my local wine bar as a venue to congregate with other like-minded women, and I’m loathe to swap my Martina Cole novels for Mary Daly.