‘From the folks that brought you 9/11’

The American comedy world finds itself embroiled in a not-so-civil war of words over the Riyadh Comedy Festival, sponsored by the Saudi royal family. The Saudis have given enormous paychecks to big names like Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K., Aziz Ansari, and Bill Burr. 

On one side, you have the people invited to perform at the festival, who mostly lean toward the anti-woke, sometimes-semi-canceled, will-do-anything-for-a-dollar camp. On the other, you have hyper-woke, mostly male Gen X comics whose routines these days involve delivering panicked podcast screeds about the end of democracy. 

Our comedy scene is booming like never before, though it’s rarely been less funny, and the Riyadh Comedy Festival has performed a public service by revealing exactly what type of morons American comics truly are. 

Grumblings about the Riyadh festival have been stirring for months, but reached a peak when it actually kicked off last weekend. “From the folks that brought you 9/11,” Marc Maron said on Instagram a couple of weeks ago. “Two weeks of laughter in the desert, don’t miss it.” The Saudis didn’t invite Maron, who said, “It’s kind of easy for me to take the high road on this one. Easy to maintain your integrity when no one’s offering to buy it out.”

It was less easy for comedian Shane Gillis, who turned down the Saudi money bag. He revealed his “principled stand” on his “Secret Podcast,” saying “You don’t 9/11 your friends.”

But no one went harder against Riyadh than never-nude David Cross, who posted a screed on his website. “I am disgusted, and deeply disappointed in this whole gross thing. That people I admire, with unarguable talent, would condone this totalitarian fiefdom for… what, a fourth house? A boat? More sneakers?

“These are some of my HEROES! Now look, some of you folks don’t stand for anything so you don’t have any credibility to lose, but my god, Dave and Louie and Bill, and Jim? Clearly you guys don’t give a shit about what the rest of us think, but how can any of us take any of you seriously ever again? All of your bitching about “cancel culture” and “freedom of speech” and all that shit? Done. You don’t get to talk about it ever again. By now we’ve all seen the contract you had to sign…You’re performing for literally, the most oppressive regime on earth. They have SLAVES for fuck’s sake!!!”

Around the web, comedy podcasts, blogs, feeds and comment sections on comedy podcast blog feeds are appalled that these comedian “heroes” would accept a seven-figure check for performing in a foreign country. Suddenly, every person who has ever been onstage or in the audience at the Comedy Cellar cares about Jamal Khashoggi or the rights of Saudi women, who’ve been legally allowed to drive, after all, since 2018. Now you care about “artwashing”?  The self-righteousness is a little hard to stomach. 

Then you have Bill Burr, who performed at the festival and has made a vast fortune not giving a shit what anyone thinks. He says the much-criticized “restrictions” placed on comedians at the event boiled down to: don’t make fun of the government, or talk about religion, which actually is kind of a lot. But Burr, on his podcast, still marveled at how the Saudis were “just like us” and that Riyadh has Starbucks, McDonald’s, and Chili’s. 

“It was great to experience that part of the world and to be a part of the first comedy festival over there in Saudi Arabia,” Burr said. “The royals loved the show. Everyone was happy. The people that were doing the festival were thrilled. The comedians that I’ve been talking to are saying, ‘Dude, you can feel [the audience] wanted it. They want to see real stand-up comedy.’ It was a mind-blowing experience. Definitely top three experiences I’ve had. I think it’s going to lead to a lot of positive things.”

Easy for the rich guy to say, but Burr does seem a lot happier in the aggregate than David Cross. Then there’s Dave Chappelle, the most self-absorbed man on the planet not named Donald Trump. Chappelle said onstage in Saudi Arabia that “it’s easier to talk here than in America.” He even told the audience that he was afraid to return to America because he’s not allowed to truly speak his mind. He said he’d let his new Saudi fans know if he was being censored, even though the odds of Dave Chappelle actually being censored are lower than the Carolina Panthers winning the Super Bowl. 

Chappelle said, in the creepy conspiratorial audience whisper that’s his trademark, “It’s got to be something I would never say in practice, so if I actually say it, you’ll know never to listen to anything else I say after that. Here’s the phrase: ‘I stand with Israel.’” 

Nice, Chappelle. Also, up yours, you anti-Semitic jerk. Enjoy your freedoms. 

Much less controversial than Chappelle in Saudi Arabia was Kevin Hart, the world’s greatest sellout. “I love what y’all are doing here,” he said. “I’ll continue being a positive ambassador of your change to the world.” 

With that, the positive ambassador of T-Mobile and Capital One credit cards went back to his hotel suite to wallow in his pile of gold.