Trump goes tilting at windmills

Donald Trump hates windmills. He’s ranted against them consistently over the last decade. They’re as constant a member of his mental rogues’ gallery as “Gavin Newscum” or “George Slopodapolous.”

And never is the President’s windmill-hatred more fervent than when he visits Europe, which has been the windmill center of the world since the age of the Quixote. Immediately upon stepping on the tarmac at Glasgow Airport yesterday, Trump said, “Stop the windmills! They’re ruining your countries. I really mean it. It’s so sad. You fly over and you see these windmills all over the place. Ruining your beautiful fields and valleys and killing your birds. If they’re stuck in your oceans, they’re ruining your oceans.”

But Trump wasn’t done on this topic. Later, while announcing his European Union trade deal at a press availability with EU President Ursula van der Leyden, Trump discussed his upcoming afternoon golf session with mild wistfulness, “Today, I’m playing the best course I think in the world. Turnberry. Even though I own it, it’s probably the best course in the world. And I look over the horizon and I see nine windmills at the end of the 18th. I say, isn’t that a shame?”

Trump also repeated his often-rebuked claim that windmills are killing whales. “You have a certain place in the Massachusetts area that over the last 20 years had one or two whales wash ashore,” Trump said. “And over the last short period of time they had 18. OK? Because it’s driving them loco. . . . We will not allow a windmill to be built in the United States. They are killing us.”

Then today, while doing an hour-long press opportunity with Prime Minister Kier Starmer, Trump brought up windmills again. The man is consistent, and consistently angry about windmills. “You know, it’s interesting. If you shoot a Bald Eagle in the United States, they put you in jail for five years. And yet windmills knock out hundreds of them – they don’t do anything,” he said. “Explain that.”

Clearly, Big Windmill is trying to kill our national bird. Cockburn wants to be clear that he’s windmill neutral, as he is on all energy sources. He wants to be able to fuel both the internal-combustion and electric roadsters that sit in his rented garage. But he does relish a great Donald Trump rant, on any topic. One thing’s for certain: when Trump is involved, windmills generate a lot of air.