Mark Carney rebuffs Trump’s marriage proposal

The White House press conference between President Trump and newly-elected Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney shows that every generation gets the summit it deserves. World War Two had Yalta, the 1970s the Camp David Accords. Barack Obama had a beer with the cop who arrested Henry Louis Gates, Jr. And Trump bragged about the new 24-karat White House gold décor and said, about Canada, “I think we have a lot of things in common.”

The half-hour press scrum veered between mutual respect and Trumpian disdain, while Carney struggled to get a word in, flopping his hands in his lap like fish on a deck. He called Trump a “transformational President” and said, “We’re stronger when we’re together.” Trump said, “I have a lot of respect for this man.”

A reporter asked, “What’s the top concession you want out of Canada?”

“Friendship,” Trump responded.

“That’s not a concession.”

And then, the deluge.

“Oh. We’re going to be friends with Canada. Regardless of anything. Canada’s a very special place…I love Canada. I have a lot of respect for Canadians. Wayne Gretsky? The Great One. You happen to have a great hockey player here on the Capitals. He is a big tough cookie, too…”

When that ended, a reporter said, “you have said that Canada should become the 51st state.” Trump, answered, as President and also, he reminded us, “as a real-estate developer.” He said statehood would mean a massive tax cut for the Canadian people and they would get “free military” and access to good doctors. Also, the idea just has aesthetic appeal.

“When you get rid of that artificially-drawn line… somebody drew that many years ago with a ruler, just like a straight line across the top of the country. Look at that beautiful formation when it’s together. I’m a very artistic person I looked at it and said, “that’s the way it’s meant to be.’”

Carney said sorry without saying “sorry.” “It’s not for sale. It won’t be for sale, ever. But the opportunity is in the partnership and what we can do together.”

“Never say never,” Trump said. “I’ve had many many things that were not do-able and ended up being do-able.”

Trump, who has had three marriages, said “This would really be a wonderful marriage because it’s two places that get along very well. They like each other, a lot.”

From there, the proposed marriage went further downhill. Trump veered off subject for about 15 minutes while Carney just sat there, wondering what in the world had led him to this gilded moment. There was talk of many big, beautiful deals to come and potshots at some of Trump’s favorite big-government waste stalking horses: Carney’s predecessor Justin Trudeau, cost overruns at the Obama Presidential Library in Chicago, and the “Gavin Newscum”-subsidized train boondoogle between Los Angeles and San Francisco.

Finally, Trump’s mental motorcade veered back onto the path and he began complaining about the unfairness of the trade situation between us and our closest friend and ally, who is lucky we’re there to defend them against foreign invasion, no questions asked.

We subsidize them to the tune of “$200 billion a year,” Trump said, and that has to change. Carney acknowledged that Canada is the “largest client of the United States,” while Trump talked about how unfair it all was. Marriage is about compromise and Trump didn’t seem to be in the mood to make any.

A reporter asked: “Is there anything Prime Minister Carney can say to you today to get you to lift tariffs on Canada?”

“No,” Trump said.

“Why not?”

The President shrugged and said,

“That’s just the way it is.”