Trump hypes the crowd with slick rally on eve of inauguration

Biblical weather outside the sixtieth presidential inaugural rally in the Capitol One Arena today: hail plonked down on to streets of slush. The poor huddled MAGAs lined up for hours and hours through a labyrinthine perimeter fencing.

Inside, the atmosphere inside was electric and jubilant. “We won, we won,” began Donald Trump, when he finally appeared. “Tomorrow at noon the curtain closes on four long years of American decline.”

Trump announced that he would order the publication of classified government documents on the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King. And he promised the crowd they would be “very happy” with what he signed tomorrow in relation to the January 6 prisoners.

Donald Trump has reinvented the political rally in his own image. And today’s — his last as a president-elect, though of course there will be more — showed how much slicker and smoother these events are than the barmier rallies of 2016 or even 2020. He rounded off the show “a special treat” — a special performance from the Village People. Yup, “YMCA.” Nobody said the return of American greatness wouldn’t be camp.

“People are happy,” said Trump. “It’s been a long time. In some forty years people are going to say, ‘I remember Donald Trump: he did a good job.’

“I don’t want to say it, it’s too braggadocious but they’re calling it the Trump Effect,” he said.

“Which was greater?” He asked. “2016 or this one? I think this one,” he said.

He proudly announced that “as of today, TikTok is back.” The the crowd liked that. “We won the youth vote by thirty-six points… so I like TikTok.”

He then explained how he brokered “what we call a joint venture” in which the United States will own 50 percent of the company.

He also took credit for the tenuous ceasefire in the Middle East. “We’ve achieved more without being president than they have achieved in four years,” he said of the outgoing Biden administration.

And he praised Steven Witkoff, the incoming Middle East envoy, who earlier had appeared on stage and told the audience that he had just received on his phone a photograph of the hostages Hamas has just released. Standing ovation.

He promised sweeping, speedy and “aggressive” border security  reform and brought up the famous illegal migrant numbers chart — the image that saved his life in Butler, Pennsylvania — before introducing a video section about immigration.

He promised to “slash” environmental regulations and the bloated government before he introduced Elon Musk, who appeared in stage with his son X. The so-called “first buddy” then stammered through a short speech, perhaps put off by a couple of angry-sounding shouts from the crowd.

“He knows those computers better than anyone,” said Trump, before thanking him.

In the other warm-up acts, Megyn Kelly talked about “the goodness that is about to rain down on us” when President Trump comes into office tomorrow. “Change is coming,” she said. “Stay strong. Do not bend, never bow. What I say is what I say.” The crowd liked Megyn.

“We’re proving that the only party that matters is the one we are having tonight,” said Kid Rock as he banged out his patriotic anthems. Throughout his performance Trump would appear, godlike, on screen to declare “I am your voice” and “Let’s make America rock.”

Dana White, the UFC chieftain, said Trump “didn’t just win this election. He won it in dominant fashion… tomorrow the Great Comeback Story begins and America starts winning again.”

Don Jr. introduced his daughter Kai, for whom the crowd went wild. Eric Trump and Lara Trump, the Republican National Committee co-chair, got their children to recite the pledge of allegiance. Then Eric said all the “bullshit” was about to end in front of them, which rather spoiled the touching moment. No matter. I suppose people don’t mind about cursing in front of children any more. Trump Sr. said “bullshit” too. Welcome to the new golden age.